these two months have been so many things. sad, trying, broken, getting close to God, having good friends around, recovering, drunk speak, collapse on the floor with bottle of tequila in hand and crying to mom, moving ahead with plans in spite of all these. it's times like these, where life pushes you to go out there and get things done. things ranging from getting drunk, to getting interviews, to learning new skills and even just learning to sit down and open your mind and heart to God.
it's strange that in my life, many times when i just want to make changes to go on ahead, things change for the worse. it's painful. and i push on, i become better in some ways and in some ways never recover. now, things are looking better, and yet i want to recover what i lost. i feel that, i am empty without that.
and as i feel that way, i know that God have plans for me. to push forward. i am comforted and perplexed at the same time. i am scared and hopeful at the same time. i am eager and downcast at the same time. i can only pray and hope that as i go along life, i will learn to trust Him more and enjoy myself as i be His instrument. i know that these days, i have had encounters to spread His love and i did. knowing that, i am satisfied.
i go on in life. i go on being God's child and servant. and still i feel, i am missing a piece. though i hurt, i pray.
not as i wish Lord, but Your will be done.
1John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
1John 5:15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
it's strange that in my life, many times when i just want to make changes to go on ahead, things change for the worse. it's painful. and i push on, i become better in some ways and in some ways never recover. now, things are looking better, and yet i want to recover what i lost. i feel that, i am empty without that.
and as i feel that way, i know that God have plans for me. to push forward. i am comforted and perplexed at the same time. i am scared and hopeful at the same time. i am eager and downcast at the same time. i can only pray and hope that as i go along life, i will learn to trust Him more and enjoy myself as i be His instrument. i know that these days, i have had encounters to spread His love and i did. knowing that, i am satisfied.
i go on in life. i go on being God's child and servant. and still i feel, i am missing a piece. though i hurt, i pray.
not as i wish Lord, but Your will be done.
1John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
1John 5:15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
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