best in life?

mongol general: Conan! what is best in life?
Conan: to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
mongol general: that is good! that is good.

maybe that's why i feel depressed lately.

not been crushing anyone.
not been driving anyone before me.
or hearing any lamentations of anyone lately.

wicked!

education

the teacher who...is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.
- Kahlil Gibran

in old days, almost every culture values their teachers most. medicine-man, shaman, home tutors for rich families, lore-keepers and so on.

today..teachers are valued too little. we pay them meager amount. we restrict their power to discipline and teach our young. we reduce their work to mere results of a paper test.

the values of a society is reflective in who they pay more to. who they give more power to. today we pay people who play with our money more than those who educate our young. we pay more to those who make us look good than those who teach our young to learn that beauty is skin deep.

what a road we are on.

lost

'please stay who yo uare..please don't disappoint us.'

i don't know where, when or how. sorry.

iIf you are cast in a different mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: nature did it.
- Charlotte Bronte

what fucking merit? it is of no merit or demerit.

sometimes it's joy other times it's pain. such is life. no more. no less. it's the throw of a dice by a unseen being. you just got to roll with it. some have it easier than others in appearance. but what do you know?

we don't know shit about anyone else.

zen dog

he knows not where he's going,
for the ocean will decide.
it's not the destination..
it's the glory of the ride!
-Edward Monkton

here and now

the world of books is the most remarkable creation of man. nothing else that he builds ever lasts. monuments fall, nations perish, civilizations grow old and die out; and, after an era of darkness, new races build others. but in the world of books are volumes that have seen this happen again and again, and yet live on, still young, still as fresh as the day they were written, still telling men's hearts of the hearts of men centuries dead.
- Clarence Day

the real world is not easy to live in. it is rough; it is slippery. without the most clear-eyed adjustments we fall and get crushed. a man must stay sober: not always, but most of the time.
- Clarence Day

quite some thoughts running in my mind. recurring thoughts and ideas. i cannot yet find the words to put them out. still cannot conceptualize them in the language that others can understand.

life have been pretty normal. work, play, sleep. some good times and some bad. happy times and some sad.

it's good to have friends around who cares enough to just listen and no bother if what you have done is right or wrong..and rather more worried about if you are alright and what you need to get it going again.

feels lonely and alone sometimes. but i know You are there. i can don't feel it, don't see it. but i know it. You are there. You saved me from certain harm and you are here with me.

hate / love

holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
- buddha

i'm not too sure of the quote source..but nonetheless it's at least true in most cases.

not liking someone does not mean you cannot love that person. liking someone does not make you love that person.

like? love? figure it out.

i don't know what it means to anyone else. or myself perhaps.

tired of all these shit.

one punch at a time

i was feeling so down and out these few days..all snow balled from long ago..

been tough to relax and take things easy..so much work and responsibilities jammed into my life..really feel like running away..

been awhile since i attended service. today i went, but left early to do work. but slowly i felt better. i don't know why. i didn't feel connected to the service or anything..but as i do my work, i felt a sense that i can pull through and i just need to do what comes.

i know that. i knew that. but something in me didn't feel it. after today, i felt it more. still unsure and irritated, but i think i can manage.

food fills the body. thoughts fills the mind. prayer fills the spirit.
what fills the heart? love? not always. sometimes it's pain. what indeed..? mercy and grace from God perhaps. but for that..we need to let Him into our hearts.

satellite

are you out there? can you hear me?
do you know my whereabouts?
do you know what i'm all about?
through the static
you're so close, so far away

are you listening? i'm desperate
sendin' out an SOS
cause i'm lost, i must confess
throw a lifeline, i'm down here
drowning in the deepest part of me

satellite
can you feel me?
satellite
come and heal me
are you watching over me tonight?
i need to know you're out there

your lines open and receiving?
you know i got so much to say
i just don't wanna fade away
keep on talking cause you're keeping me alive

satellite
can you feel me?
satellite
come and heal me
are you watching over me tonight?
i need to know you're out there

everybody hurts
everybody cries
everybody needs someone
to save them sometimes

everybody hurts
everybody cries
everybody needs someone
to save them sometimes
save them sometimes

satellite
can you feel me?
satellite
come and heal me

satellite
can you feel me?
satellite
come and heal me
are you watching over me tonight?
i need to know you're out there

satellite
satellite
-Bon Jovi