and you are mistaken.
many times i still find myself angry. angry at the world, the situation, people being people, whatever is convenient. it will take me a few moments to digest that and be rational about it. to think about what i have learnt and that sometimes the people that i can get angry at, that is there in my crosshair, are not those i should be angry at.
many times, things are as they are through many twists and turns, and at fault of no one person or even a group of people. they just turn out like this through many small acts, intended or not. thus many people are blameless, perhaps only guilty of not being better people. and who have been their best at all times? certainly not myself.
thus, there are many times when i should not, yet i still do, give in to rage and anger needlessly. perhaps the consolation is that i learnt to recognise it and somewhat control it. to be able to direct it and diffuse it.
certainly took me long enough for this small step.
so many things in life to be disappointed by. and we can only do so little to make the right things happen. and everyone's 'right thing' is almost certainly a different thing. what a mess this world is in.
i am changed. yet i am still the same me.
still sad, still lost, still angry. what a mess i am.
many times i still find myself angry. angry at the world, the situation, people being people, whatever is convenient. it will take me a few moments to digest that and be rational about it. to think about what i have learnt and that sometimes the people that i can get angry at, that is there in my crosshair, are not those i should be angry at.
many times, things are as they are through many twists and turns, and at fault of no one person or even a group of people. they just turn out like this through many small acts, intended or not. thus many people are blameless, perhaps only guilty of not being better people. and who have been their best at all times? certainly not myself.
thus, there are many times when i should not, yet i still do, give in to rage and anger needlessly. perhaps the consolation is that i learnt to recognise it and somewhat control it. to be able to direct it and diffuse it.
certainly took me long enough for this small step.
so many things in life to be disappointed by. and we can only do so little to make the right things happen. and everyone's 'right thing' is almost certainly a different thing. what a mess this world is in.
i am changed. yet i am still the same me.
still sad, still lost, still angry. what a mess i am.
