losing balance

as i go along trying to fit in and be better in the general world, i find myself being more and more irritated and angry. at the world and with myself.

the general wrongness of the society's systems bugs me. i cannot think of a better way, yet i know the current system is bad for us, bad for the world and cannot last.

helpless before the machine. rage.

define ourselves

We talk about our struggles.
We're friends, fellow travelers on this journey. She keeps repeating a phrase, "I'm the girl who...."
It's the phrase I've heard from the lips of hundreds of women. From my own too.
We face a challenge and redefine ourselves by it.

Here are some I've said:
I'm the girl who has social anxiety.
I'm the girl who has depression.
I'm the girl who can't have children.
Those sentences trap us, limit us, make us believe we are our worst moments.

I clear my throat and whisper quietly into the phone what has set me free...
"That's not who you are, friend, it's where you are right now."

She sighs with relief and says the words that are like candy for my ears, "You need to write about this on your blog." So here we are. Because I need to hear this truth more than once...and maybe you do too.
Your struggle is not your identity.
It's your location at the moment.

If there were spiritual GPS, we could locate your spot in the desert. Imagine you did so with me and I said, "This place is my identity forever." You'd shake your head and say, "You're on your way to the Promised Land! This is just a temporary stop!"

Then you'd remind me...
I'm the girl who is God's daughter.
I'm the girl with strengths placed within me for a purpose.
I'm the girl who's unconditionally loved by Someone who can get me through anything.

Where we are in life changes.
Who we are stays the same wherever we may go.
Where are you today, friend?
And who are you, really?

Words of encouragement by Holley Gerth. For more hope and encouragement, visit her blog Heart to Heart with Holley

guiding words and light

these days at church, the sermons seems to be so enlightening to my life's problems. it's like every week, God is trying to point out to me what i did wrong and how to fix them.

 i have been self-centered. i didn't think so, i thought i was fine and thoughtful, but i wasn't. most of the time, i was just being me and not really caring with paying attention. like, follow my way or you are wrong and i will educate you. so now, i shall endeavor to be really caring about others when listening and talking about them.

i have been taking people for granted. this is a continuation of the above carelessness. so you are here and i deserve your attention and care, while i will continue with what i am doing and you fit yourself in somehow. this is not the right way for any relationship or friendship. there have to be give and take.

then finally, treating others as equals. i think i have this problem for the longest of time. i have always somehow unknowingly, put people below me or above me, never equal. they are either more gifted than i or plain idiots. people have strengths and weaknesses, like i do.

i must learn to acknowledge them and learn how to deal with people properly. i hope these stays with me and make me better as time goes by and i learn to better relate to others.

persistance

if nothing else, i am that. and not always for the better of results.

now knowing when to stop is not a good thing. but if you stop, how can you know if more effort will make a difference?

keep calm and keep going.