pushing

today is a good day.

completed the urbanathlon, with less training than i intended.

it was great. leading up to it, i did only about 60% of the trainings i had planned. i was mentally prepared to suffer through the race, and indeed. it was punishing and i am still suffering for it, but i am glad i did it. my arm is still injured and could not really climb the monkey bar thing, but i went through them.

my pace was mush slower than i usually do, but it was hot and freaking long. have not done anything more than 10km in some years, and my trainings are usually maxed out at 6. very glad that i did not give up. not one obstacle.

then after showering and hydrating, i went to archery training. shot a measly 40 plus arrows, but that is more than the day before. in the humid weather, just having finished a race. i felt i was nuts. and i loved it.

staying strong and do what needs to be done. then going on to do what i want to do to achieve something.

it's a good day today.

feeling it

today i keep getting pounded by a sad revelation.

can't stay focus at work. can't carry as much things as i used to.
went to run and workout. can't do pull up due to injury. can't do much sit ups cause i'm weak/old.
mom picked up her notebook to answer dad's call.

limp minds and weak limbs
growing old and degraded
oh what lousy fate

no wonder people of past eras, do not live pass certain age. for some, it's simply not worth living.

clearer haze

was supposed to have a few more posts up by now, but couldn't finish my thoughts well enough to be coherent. anyway..that's that.

so many things happening in the world now. so messy. so selfish and lacking in direction. headless chickens running around trying to put out fire,

so many changes in the lives of those around as well. getting married, getting pregnant, getting baby, getting divorce, getting promoted, getting laid off. what a mess.

have not had time to chill and recollect since a long time. many fires to attend to. many dark corners to light up.

so far my ownself is holding well enough together, for once. perhaps i am getting more matured. perhaps i know that my dreams cannot all come true and some have to be killed. so that the rest can flourish.

choose my poison.