re think

some time back i posted about how i think we Christians should think like our salvation is not completed until we pass on from this physical world..then i read this piece.

http://rejoicejesus.com/profiles/blogs/are-catholics-considered-christians-and-are-they-saved-by-the-sai

after some rethinking of my concept, i think that it is still a good idea to hold. reason being, Jesus taught us that if we do not do the works of the Father, we do not love him and will not go to heaven. even if Jesus does not do the work of the Father, we should not believe him. (John 10:37) so, while our salvation is bought and completed by Jesus having died on the cross and raised up to heaven, only those who love God and does His will are His children.

this is markedly different from Catholic teachings, where the traditions in place gives the authority and power to the church. what i suggest is centered upon God and His plan for us. while we are already saved, we can only accept salvation by loving God. and by loving God, we do His will.

so there is no works we can do to save ourselves. that is already done by Jesus. we just need to love God and do His will, His plan for us. it's not like, yay! i'm saved, i can do kill the idiot who cut my queue just now. or i can be sexually immoral now! those who does not keep God's law, does not do His will are not children of God and they do not love Him enough to follow Him. and thus have not received salvation.

my previous post on this was more on sin and repentance. in the same way, when we repent to God and ask for forgiveness, we are doing His will and asking for His help to guide us to do His will in our own lives. so, in a broader sense, to receive salvation, according to the bible, we must do God's will. and not add or subtract from His word.

fumble around in my head, but i think i understand better now.

mindful

thought to start writing a somewhat short story of some random stuff. now after two entries, i realise i have less time than i thought i would have.

studying. the more proper term at this point in time is cramming. 14 days or so to remember a book around 400pages long about laws surrounding financial transactions and advisers. my brain is really stretched out. then 7 days after that paper, another paper and book of around 300+ page for investments and policies and stuff.

on top of that, still coaching, trying to shoot abit here and there, exercise, keep up with committee stuff just to last the term and hanging out with people who are around. oh..! and driving.

tiring. somewhat nice to be pressed on and see the growth i promised myself. and as i do this, somehow more opportunities comes along. just going to explore and see what options do i actually have.

wishing you were somehow here.. =(

ground work

it was some years ago. six to be more exact. Mr H. Art was out, just walking around the small town. that was before he gain influence over the town, at that time, Brian ran things. Things were well, everyone was satisfied and no one gave a anyone else grief. if there were problems, Brian was there to solve them and everyone was satisfied.
the object was a passing through town. a curious object brought there by curious circumstances. Mr H was intrigued by it.
the more he found out about it, the more he was enamored. at first, he fiddles with other things and was occasionally occupied with other stuff and was trying not to be obsessed with it. somehow, he could not help himself.
days became weeks and months. and years passed. finally, the object had to move on to another place.
Mr H was convinced that he will get ready and go with it, not willing to let it out of his life. He had plans, get the proper papers and some funds, so that he can start afresh at the new place and try to fit in.
That was the plan, but he had to stay on to finish some business he was obliged to handle to the end. and so his plans were delayed. Even so, he was eager to start the preparations to go on with the object, to make sure that he was always with it.
soon the time came for the object to go ahead with the move. Mr H, thought to keep track of it, until he was ready to go to wherever it went. he was sure now. where he had doubts, now Mr H was convinced. even Brian was convinced and was helping Mr H prepare.
then, it was lost..

intro

"What do you mean it won't work?! Everything is supposed to work around here. God did not create things that don't work."
Brian sighs. Mr. H. is having one of those moods. Mr. H. Art, directs everything in this town. Everyone listens to him and follows his wimps and fancies. When things don't work out for Mr. H., they don't work out for everyone else.
"Sir. I am sorry, but it's not our fault. We tried everything, there is just no return signal.", Brian tries to explain the situation.
They were trying to get some respond from a train that is carrying a precious cargo. Some days ago, it stopped responding to calls and could not even be found.
"It is a train. It runs on tracks. It is only going one direction. Find it." Mr. H, gets what he wants, usually.
The town have mobilized a search vehicle to follow the track until the destination of the train. The party, was expecting a party on the road. Like Mr. H says, it's a train, on a track going to a  seaport, where could it go? Upon arriving at the port, the train was nowhere to be found. No cargo, no train, no crew. The party came back somber and afraid. Mr. H's precious cargo is lost. And with it, his temper.
Now, they were trying to send a signal to the cargo container, which have an on-board tracking device.
"We tried all the signals possible and all the channels available to us, but we are just not getting a respond from the box. It's like it disappeared." Brian tries to explain again. He knows Mr. H will just order him to try everything, again.
"Send people to all the surrounding towns to look for my cargo. If it is not found within the week, i will know what to do."
Brian thought this sounds more ominous than if Mr H rant and raved. This is not over. Not for everyone in this town.

deep purple

i've been lonely, i've been cold. i've been looking for a woman to have and hold 'cause i know, yes, i know i've been mistreated. Since my baby left me i've been losing, i've been losing, i've been losing my mind, baby baby babe.

ask

i ask these of Thee, come back, speak to me, tell me the truth and let us endure it together. for better or worse. one thing i promise, i won't give up.

dreams, not worth much if they lie not in your own hands.

landed

and so another weekend passed. not really eventful. had fun and was tiring. missing something. missing someone.

wondering about my decision and choice that i made. going ahead with it and going to do my best, just having mixed feelings. eager, enthusiastic, feels challenged in a good way, yet hesitant and worried. won't know till i try, so will be doing it. just that i feel..lost.

life's mystery, figuring it out for yourself is the journey.

fly

it's been some months since i last took a flight to somewhere. it's been a crazy few months. so many things have changed and not for the better, most of it anyway.

i don't know what to expect. i am going there to shoot, to coach and to relax. now i have to study there also, else there won't be enough time to study when i come back. no breaks these days. i'll rest when i die. or when i can stop worrying about the future. either i have no more future to worry, or everything is settled so that there is no more tinkering to do. so for now, we toil.

i am not entirely happy to go on this trip. i don't have much to look forward to there actually. i want to shoot well, but am certainly not prepared. not looking forward to walk around there without someone else.

well..take it as it comes. much to do this year. have some ideas of my targets and plans this few years. so it's nice to have that kind of drive and focus. really thank God for showing me how i can grow myself.

though i walk on and try to work hard, some part of me is left behind. i do wonder, if it'll be pieced back.

blocked. right?

who am i?

so tired now. so many things to settle before flight and too many commitments suddenly. and yet i promise to help people and try to make things better for others.

it makes me feel better about myself, but at what cost? yes helping others is a good way to get out of depression for myself, but i think right now, i need to be more selfish or at least more picky about what and who i chose to help.

compassion, a good trait to have. in this modern world? i don't know. but i was brought up this way. deal with it.

too much

ok..feeling rather over stretched here.

8hours of sleep in three days. the enxt two days are packed and high key. oh my goodness. i am feeling it.

to rest i go.

though my body is tired and mind is shutting down, i still feel..sad. and that makes everything worse. though i can put on my coach face to be Coach/TM Ken, inside of me, i am still wilting and slowly breaking. gah. sucks.

days

been rather busy going to try new stuff, it's tiring.

being more active in stuff and going out to look for things to do and settle what have been put on hold. good feeling, but tiring. maybe something in my diet is making me tired naturally. or something.

anyway..it's been rather confusing. i know what i want, but seems so far away. not sure what to do. i am sure, some idea will somehow become better to me and i will move down that path.

PSA 18:2 The LORD [is] my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, [and] my high tower.