you can leave archery. but archery is in your veins, it never leaves you.

it pushes you to be more. to be better. to do what makes yourself better.

archery loves you.

no country for old men

a man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-John Barrymore

mood is swinging around like some wicked pendulum. some times i just want to be alone and relax. another 5min down i want to beat someone up. give me another 10..i wish someone would stay with me and just be there and understand.

then i realize, i don't understand myself most times. i don't know why i do certain things or why i want to do what i want. i just want to. just feel like it.

attempts to modulate my moodiness is not really working. i can be seemingly fine, when i got to do my work. but once that is over, i get all confused inside again. what's with these!?

i'm unhappy with a lot of things. things i can do and cannot help. things i have no choice about. people i have around sometimes just pisses me off.

i am tired of these shit. i cannot stand people. i don't like crowds. i don't like groups. i just wish i could be somewhere with ALOT less people.

many things that i think that should be, isn't. all the things i hope to be, ain't happening. tired of trying. tired of going at it again. there don't seem to be a point.

the world have changed to be a stranger place than i can fathom.

india and back

delhi..new place for me. it's interesting. the physical locations. the way things are arranged and built and how the city is currently. the people..well, i can say they are people. not as bad and not as good as others. food was interesting. not too bad. grown to appreciate the spices.

dusty. dry. confusing. old. random. income gap.

i missed home while i was there.

now that i am home. i wish home was better. loud motors. retarded people.

i quite hate the way things are now. seems like only drastic actions can break me out of this cycle. i don't know.

trying to take things easy and do what i need to do. see how things turn out.

fuse getting shorter. moody.

one rant away!

growth

the need to be right all the time is the biggest bar to new ideas. it is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
— Edward de Bono

being able to grow is to make some mistakes and falling some of the time to learn new skills and test new ideas.

singapore have become a bad place to grow. pointing out mistakes have over shadowed what is being accomplished. what is wrong becomes more important that what is right or improved.

this kind of mentality have reduced people's willingness to try new things and speak up. have made us all zombies in the machine that is.

we should learn to accept that everyone makes mistakes and remember to encourage people to try new things and learn things on their own. also to experience new activities and test out new ideas.

if not, maybe soon, we will be so behind others that we will always be drones that mindlessly toil away and drudge our life away.

this invisible cage may be difficult to break, or even to acknowledge. but once we, as individuals feel it, we should decide to break out once a while or never at all.

everyone dies, but not everyone really lives.