dreams

i had a really strange one last night.

dreamed that i was being checked on, like as in a physical exam or something, with a paper check list and boxes besides some description. someone i still love and want to be with was doing the checking, ticking off the list.

cannot remember the list properly now, but there are parts about getting life together, getting a job, being a good person and somethings like that through out the list. there were two boxes left unchecked, one was getting a degree and the other was something i don't remember.

wanted to write it down, but was busy the whole day in office and went for appointments. well..more work to do to be better.

not sure if anything can still happen. but hopes for a better tomorrow drives me on. tough and sometimes feels like giving up, but eventually get it together..hopefully.

burning

where is the fiery passion of our youth? where is the all or nothing mentality that movies so readily portrays? who will go on to do everything for someone for something that really matter?

are we, as a society too safety oriented? are we so scared of failing that we take less risk than previous generations? as one overseas friend told me, Singapore is a soft society, there is no hard edge, no real challenge and no real failures to be experienced. with this softness, we lack the drive to pursue dreams and take risks?

failure in modern society does not always occur immediately and suddenly. many a times, it creeps up on us and traps us, like frogs in a slow boiling pot. before we know it, we have no more options, no more chances and no more ways to survive. many small things can contribute to failures and having a lowered risk appetite and lowered drive to dream big, in my opinion, can become crippling without any sense of it at all.

for whom or what do we burn for? are we are simply satisfied to live as life takes us along and survive with our modern lifestyle and all it's distractions? something each of us must answer to ourselves.

too late for me to ramble on. too drowsy to think straight. too sad to feel motivated. or should it be 'in spite of' and not 'because of'.? hmm...

on and on

more things fail around me. i have to go on and do what i have to do.

no chance to relax now. too much at stake. gah..

no clear sign. perhaps..perhaps..perhaps not..

unexpectedly

good times..bad times..sometimes..just happens.

learn from it. grow with it. deal with it.

mood

having a really bon jovi mood. it's like all their songs suits me fine today.

'my guitar lies bleeding in my arms'
'starting all over again'
'it's my life'
'blaze of glory'
'living on a prayer'

good lunch day with an awesome person.

meh

due to work and other unrelated causes, this is the most unhappening birthday in years.

sad, but not devastated. thinking about work. and stuff. and someone else. bah.

06111980

happy birthday to me.

you are not alone

another day has gone
i'm still all alone
how could this be
you're not here with me
you never said goodbye
someone tell me why
did you have to go
and leave my world so cold

everyday i sit and ask myself
how did love slip away
something whispers in my ear and says
that you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay

but you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
but you are not alone

'lone, 'lone
why, 'lone

just the other night
i thought i heard you cry
asking me to come
and hold you in my arms
i can hear your prayers
your burdens I will bear
but first i need your hand
then forever can begin

everyday i sit and ask myself
how did love slip away
something whispers in my ear and says
that you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay

for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart
for you are not alone

Whisper three words and i'll come runnin'
and girl you know that i'll be there
i'll be there

you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay
for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart

for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though you're far away
i am here to stay

for you are not alone
for i am here with you
though we're far apart
you're always in my heart

for you are not alone...