boy

i feel much like a helpless little boy. i cannot get what i want. sometimes i don't even know what i want. all i know is that it's close yet far and here yet absent.

i want something more than this. i want to able to do what i want and do them well. been trying so hard but all seems too far away still. the journey have been enriching and i have become something i want yet not my top priority..

the future scares me. i don't want to lose anything but yet if i keep holding what i have, i'll never have what i want to have. growing can be painful. and i have to grow to reach the future i want.

i need support from those around me and need those around me to understand it's not easy for me. everyone is different and this thing is not easy for me.

i want to be able to find what's best for the situation and i think i may have think too much. oh well. figure it out.

a little bit
under pressure
it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming let me out!
pray tomorrow takes me high high higher
pressure on people
people on streets

turned away from it all
like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work
keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
why why why?

(love, love, love, love)

insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
can't we give ourselves one more chance?
why can't we give love that one more chance?
why can't we give love give love give love?
give love give love give love give love give love give love?
cause love's such an old fashioned lie
and love dares you to care
for the people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way
of caring about ourselves
this is our last dance
this is our last dance
this is ourselves

under pressure
-Queen

Holiday

say, hey!

hear the sound of the falling rain
coming down like an armageddon flame (hey!)
the shame
the ones who died without a name

hear the dogs howling out of key
to a hymn called "faith and misery" (hey!)
and bleed, the company lost the war today

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

hear the drum pounding out of time
another protester has crossed the line (hey!)
yo find, the money's on the other side

can i get another Amen? (Amen!)
there's a flag wrapped around a score of men (hey!)
a gag, a plastic bag on a monument

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

(hey!)
(say, hey!)

"the representative from California has the floor"

sieg heil to the president gasman
bombs away is your punishment
pulverize the Eiffel towers
who criticize your government
bang bang goes the broken glass and
kill all the fags that don't agree
trials by fire, setting fire
is not a way that's meant for me
just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives

this is our lives on holiday
-Greenday

quote

i like your Christ, i do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mohandas Gandhi

are we guilty?

individual

"if a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau

my guitarr lies bleeding in my arms

if i have a guitar

misery likes company, i like the way that sounds
i've been trying to find the meaning, so i can write it down
staring out the window, it's such a long way down
i'd like to jump, but i'm afraid to hit the ground

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, i got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, since you went away
i sing this song to you wherever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

i'm tired of watching TV, it makes me ant to scream
outside the world is burning, man it's so hard to belive
each day you know you're dying from the cradle to the grave
i get so numb sometimes, that i can't feel the pain

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, it's strange enough these days
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

staring at the paper, i don't know what to write
i'll have my last cigarette-well, turn out the lights
maybe tomorrow i'll feel a different way
but here in my delusion , i don't know what to say

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to save
and i can't fight the feelings buried in my brains
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, there's no one left to save
and i can't fight the feelings, buried in my brains
i send this song to wherever you are,
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

-Bon Jovi