shucks!

germany lost..sian..

lousy defence. lousier ref..

toilet adventure

finally something somewhat about my life.

this afternoon, i went to city link's toilet. was surprised that the male toilet is full, i needed to release some solid toxic material, but i had to ferment it somemore while i waited for a empty bomb hole.

the first door opened and out came a guy around mid-20s. i moved forward, eager to unload my unwanted cargo. BUT! the door closed back and the lock thingy turned to occupied! then the guy turn and spoke to me. 'there's someone still inside.', calmly. i was shocked for a moment and moved back to my waiting place at the corner of the toilet. shocked.

lucky for me another door opened soon and thankfully, no one was still inside after it ejected one occupant. therefore i proceed with my business.

i cannot understand how can there be someone still inside..unless it a pair of deprived men. or his kid, which i doubt as he seem too young. or..well..i don't know.

everything

you're a falling star, you're the get away car.
you're the line in the sand when i go too far.
you're the swimming pool, on an august day.
and you're the perfect thing to say.

and you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when i look at you.

and in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing.
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

you're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
and you light me up, when you ring my bell.
you're a mystery, you're from outer space,
you're every minute of my everyday.

and i can't believe, uh that i'm your man,
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can.
whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
and you know that's what our love can do.

so, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
so, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

and in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing.
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
you're every song, and i sing along.
'cause you're my everything.
yeah, yeah

so, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
so, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
-Michael Buble

faith

'there is a madness needed to touch the gods, yes. this is true. few mortals possess it, the willingness to step away from the protection of sanity. to walk into the wild wood of madness..'
-The Kindly Ones.

faith requires some leap into the unknown. so does love. and trust. sometiumes things don't work the way thet are suppose to. they are not logical. they don't follow expectations.

sanity. so mundane.

distinction

science is what you know, philosophy is what you don’t know.
-Bertrand Russell

i think this is quite close. i would rather say science is doing something you know to try to understand what you know you do not know. and philosophy is what you probably will not know.

word!

sunburns are clearly our body's way of telling us we need to hurry up and evolve some fucking armor plating or something.
-Tim Buckley

heroes

true heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. it is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.
-Arthur Ashe

beyond. again.

遠方　有一個地方
那裡種有我們的夢想
某天　也許會相遇
相遇在這個好地方

不要太擔心　只因為我相信
終會走過這條遙遠的道路

OH PARA - PARADISE 是否那麼重要
你是否那麼地遙遠

可惜　我們的故鄉
放不下我們的理想
好嗎　想問你一下
告訴我外面的世界
-Beyond

pangea day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KfXlISY6L0

another for america

http://www.zmag.org/zmag/viewArticle/17499

logic and sound understanding of what they are actually doing is so out of fashion in some parts of the world.(*cough*usa*cough*)

that's why democracy is a big farce in many parts of the world.

watch this.

even if it's the only online clip you'll watch today.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

rant

i need to rant. i don't know what else to do.

i cannot get my mind on anytihng proper.

i feel like running till i drop..walking till i get lost. being in pain till i die.

only when i am lost and my life is empty do this blog seems a solace. for it is where i can rant. where i know not many will read. where i can rty to put the pain and emptiness into words and make them more real. more than they already am. so that somehow i can understand it better.

but it's as temporal as time. it's there. it happens. but what is it? why does it happen? why can't i do something about it?

i wish i had not head..then i cannot think..if i had no heart then it won't be empty. emptied by myself!

those who have loved and lost...knows what i mean. those who don't. i wish you have the good God's graces to not experience it.

sleepless

yeah..been a while since i've been like this. didn't have a reason to. pretty nice and calm life. going on and going somewhere.

now..not really going anywhere. at least nowhere that i want to go.

somewhere in me..i wanted to get drunk. really really drunk for the first time in my life..get myself so wacked that i wouldn't know if i was a boy or a girl. but then..something else told me not to get stupider. that's the idea. stay away from it. stay sober. be good. and i did. watched an incredibly interesting show with a total of TWO actors. then took a bus home. read a book. and now pretty awake.

and still feeling empty.

i don't know if things are going to get better. i can only pray and hope and wish and really really want it to happen. though what i want have no effect on reality, as things have proven in the past.

i know i can and will get better. but in some ways i don't want to get better. i want to mope. i want to be sad. i want to have enough of my own nonsense. i miss her. i love her. i want to miss and love her. for the rest of my life. that's what i want.

still..i don't know what'll happen. i've been a fool and lucky. and not so lucky..but still a fool.

i think i am going nuts. i feel like dying. in shame. in grief. in a bad way. in a car crash. i thought about it. i'd rob a cabby, drive myself into a wall. literally. pretty simple. quick. and quite sure of dismise.

but that's that.

i hope it's not over. that i can make up for it somehow. that i can make my words come true and keep my promise. i want to make things beautiful and nice. simple and solid. if i get the chance.

God..in your mercy..hear my prayers.

miserable

as miserable as i expect it to be.

only solace was when i was in church when i was focused on God's word. and when i was reading, in church grounds.

after talking to a church staff, i volunteered to be an usher for a day per month for the 5pm service. i guess, i really should start serving.

a pastorial staff came up and talked to me today. just before service. did i look that bothered? or was God providing for my needs? i believe the latter. after service i had a little talk with the staff. there's not much i can do. only pray. Thank you God. Thank you David.

i keep saying it. i mean it alot. i always meant it. i love you, dear. i love you and you are dear to me. i am sorry.

empty

wishing you were somehow here again..
wishing you were somehow near..
-Phantom Of The Opera

why did it happen again?

the mexican

Look, when two people love each other, totally, truthfully, all the way love each other, the answer to that questionis simple, especially in your case. When do you get to that point where enough is enough?

Never.

Never.

i keep thinking about this few lines in this show i watch many years ago.

i am boy and a man. both stupid and a jerk.

would i feel hurt if the roles are reversed? yes. all this while, all these things, all these nonsense..would i still believe? i cannot truthfully answer, i am not under the same stress and position. i think i will still believe. i think. why? i never want to give up. perhaps i am stupid. or just saying cause it's easy to say. i don't know..really. i believe i would carry on.

i am lost. i don't really know myself. i want to do this and want to do that. what is more important? i never think. i just did as things came along.

regrets?yes.
pain?yes.
anything i can do now?no. all in God's hand.

sorry doesn't cut it. but it's all i have now. sorry.

i beg for anothing chance. forgive me. once more. one last chance.
i miss you..dear. <3

space

for rant.

that's what this blog start out as and now it shall be again.

i love how the french wants to outlaw some stuff.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080415/ap_on_he_me/france_anorexia;_ylt=AlEdFnpacw_av4Hf5oUjbH2s0NUE

so..tibet is slowly starting to fade from world view..slowly.
there are human-rights abuses almost everywhere. why did tibet suddenly become a hot topic? the exile-government. political hounds or chameleon.
IF the west are so concerned, why don't they start doing something about US and the self-admited torture of prisoners? what about the abuse in Saudi, that's been going on for so many years?
politics and money. nothing's new i guess. same old rot-gut world.

not much new in my life. coaching, trying to shoot. trying to save up to study. getting tired and feeling old. nothing new here too..

move along.. ..

Earth in crisis

http://www.physorg.com/news126761406.html

and of course there are some who value money more than anything else in the world, who tries to mislead policy makers and governments about it.

In God We Trust

http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/02/25/cool-stuff-jason-reitmans-short-film-in-god-we-trust/

nice watch.

emotions

just feels..tired, moody, angry, depressed, listless, aimless, dejected.. .. ..

don't know why. wound up too tight? tired?

seems like whatever i do is so pointless. i cannot do anything well. don't know what's to come. cannot help anything.

sad and feeling lonely.

me.

The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ)

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.
-http://keirsey.com

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

choice

living just by our intuition would be difficult, and even dangerous -- our intuition can be wrong. for example, if you approach a lion's cage at the zoo, you may make an intuitive judgment about the lion on the other side of the glass. perhaps you noticed something about the lion's demeanor that puts you at ease. the intuition that he's a friendly lion, coupled with the urge to pet him because he's fluffy, may lead you to climb into the cage -- despite everything you've ever cognitively learned about the ferocity and danger of lions. as the lion devoured you, you would learn that your intuition led you astray.

the converse is also true, however. living a life based only on rational, deliberate examination is no better than living by intuition alone. locking eyes with a total stranger across a crowded room and feeling a jolt of emotion is highly irrational. you've never spoken to this person and know absolutely nothing about him beyond his superficial appearance. depending only on your rational mind, you may allow the moment to pass and miss the opportunity to meet the person you could have spent the rest of your life with.

so when should you rely on your intuition? when it comes to approaching a lion's cage, swearing at work or encountering the love of your life, how do you know when intuition can serve you best? only your intuition can tell you that.
-HowStuffWorks

MPAA

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-559517494445537267&q=this+film+is+not+yet+rated&total=214&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

*the link is to a movie about the MPAA and it's rating system. IT'S NOT SAFE FOR WORK. it have sexual explicit scenes. Watch it at your own discretion.

certainly quite revealing about who controls american culture to some extend.

broadway..oh yeah!

Teen boy: Mom, are you sure that woman isn't the same as the one in Phantom of the Opera?
Mom: I'm sure. It's a different actress.
Teen boy: Because it's that same loud-ass style of singing.
Mom: Broadway singing.
Teen boy: Yeah. Really loud-ass singing. I wonder where the school is for that.

--Tarzan intermission

heh.

Distraught girl: Is there an 'I' in 'relationship'?
Guy: [Silence.]
Distraught girl: Well, is there?!
Guy: Um... There's two, actually...
Distraught girl: God... You're so selfish! You just don't understand me.!

let us see..

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A.

6) What was the last book you read?
A.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.

9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.

22) What color eyes do you have?
A.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.

Stephen Hawkins.

10. "Einstein was wrong when he said "God does not play dice". Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that He sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen."

9. "I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."

8. "My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all."

7. "I find that American & Scandinavian accents work better with women." In response to a question about the American accent of his synthesiser.

6. "Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. In the end, however, I did put in one equation, Einstein's famous equation, E = mc2. I hope that this will not scare off half of my potential readers."

5. "My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus."

4. "To show this diagram properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen."

3. "Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."

2. "The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired."

1. "Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end."

considered to be one of the most intelligent person alive at the moment. his life is an inspiration to live life and fight no matter your circumstances. to contribute in whatever ways you can to the world as a whole.

under my skin

i've got you under my skin
i've got you deep in the heart of me
so deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me
i've got you under my skin

i've tried so not to give in
i've said to myself this affair never will go so well
but why should I try to resist, when baby will i know than well
that i've got you under my skin

i'd sacrifice anything come what might
for the sake of having you near
in spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
and repeats, repeats in my ear

don't you know you fool, you never can win
use your mentality, wake up to reality
but each time i do, just the thought of you
makes me stop before I begin
cause i've got you under my skin
-Frank Sinatra

wind of change

i follow the Moskva
down to Gorky Park
listening to the wind of change
an august summer night
soldiers passing by
listening to the wind of change

the world is closing in
did you ever think
that we could be so close, like brothers
the future's in the air
i can feel it everywhere
blowing with the wind of change

take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

walking down the street
distant memories
are buried in the past forever
i follow the Moskva
down to Gorky Park
listening to the wind of change

take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
with you and me
take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

the wind of change
blows straight into the face of time
like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
for peace of mind
let your balalaika sing
what my guitar wants to say

take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
with you and me
take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change
-Scorpions

new things in the mill. apprehensive. worried. but one does have to get out into the uncomfortable to grow.

one way to get the most out of life isto look upon it as an adventure.
-William Feather

let's go.

hmm..

The Five Love Languages
Your primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.


Complete set of results
Quality Time: 10
Physical Touch: 8
Acts of Service: 6
Words of Affirmation: 6
Receiving Gifts: 0

come!

be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
-Benjamin Franklin

光輝歲月

鐘聲響起歸家的訊號　在他生命裡
彷彿帶點唏噓　黑色肌膚給他的意義
是一生奉獻　膚色鬥爭中

年月把擁有變做失去
疲倦的雙眼帶著期望

今天只有殘留的驅殼　迎接光輝歲月
風雨中抱緊自由　一生經過徬徨的掙扎
自信可改變未來　問誰有能做到

可否不分膚色的界限　願這土地裡
不分你我高低　繽紛色彩閃出的美麗
是因它沒有　分開每種色彩
- BEYOND

dream on.

if you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. now put the foundations under them.
-Henry David Thoreau

whoami?

i am not who i want to be.
i am tired.

another.

don't really know what to think about things.

life is pretty good. looking up and getting somewhere it seems. not really bothered by anything, just normal.

nothing really changed. just another day passed, spent with good company. good food, friends and music. relaxing day and did what i enjoyed. what more could i ask for? =)
thank you, my dear. <3.
i know what matters to me. perhaps too early. it makes me lack the drive to live in this mordern society. oh well, we'll see how things goes. life still goe on and it's not like i'm unable or blind or that stupid. heh..hope not.

many issues surrounding our lives everyday. some big and personal. others distant and yet disturbs us. we all can be better persons. let's hope that everyone realises this and make the effort to be better to those they love, at least.

God's Grace. life is indeed better now.

i don't know

why.

i feel down.
like things are not going well, but they are fine.
like things are stretched and difficult..but are they?

i don't know. i feel depressed. but nothing is wrong. just..depressed.

hai..hmm..BZZT!

BZZT! indeed!! Mr. Battery..!

struggle

living can be a struggle. everyday is a fight.

fight for something you want. or need. survival comes with struggles. somedays it just breezes past..other days..it feels like not worth it.

others may need you. look up to you. then disappoint you. you may have done the same to others..unknowingly.

so human.

we are imperfect. unable to be. and that makes it interesting as well as difficult. why is a big quetion with no answer here. so..should we even ask? or should we just trudge on without caring for the big questions?

we all need help and love and tender care somedays. we don't always get it. others too. but sometimes i guess we cannot even care about ourselves enough..why should we care about others..

moving at the speed of life, we are bound to collide with each other.

we hurt each other so much without meaning to. we hurt oureslves too..

God have mercy on us..our sanity..our souls.

..

i don't know what to write. i don't know what to do.

nothing to say. just sorry. and it's so inadequate.

sorry.

realisations

boys are stupid. men are jerks.

i feel so much like a boy. i don't know so much. i thought i was aware..but i was/am wrong.

thank you, God. for your grace and mercies throughout my life. i have nothing and all is yours. please guide me to be better and grant strength, discipline and endurance for your work and plans. let me be totally yours. for on my own..i am worse than nothing.

help.

.

is this the end?

i feel so broken. i feel like i've been through this and still want to try.

yes..i want to try to be what is needed. i want to be with her. but..it's not up to me.

God..what's next? why all this hurt? i know it's my mistake..i'm sorry. i know what's wrong..but sometimes i lose it. i am sorry.

screwed up.

trying to make things better but gets worse.

knees and ankle rather busted. heavy load. long walk. *ka-put*

trying to make sense of things. sense all run away.

praying for help and guidance. ain't getting nothing.

nights become scary again. one 'dreams' is all it takes.

where is the love? where is the sanctuary?

is there a ladder somewhere to let me climb abit higher than where i am now?

i don't know what to do. i know what i want. but nothing is within my ability. nothing.

broKEN

yeah..i know why. but i cannot fix it. i try..but sometimes cannot help it.

human..so..idiotic.

lawful society

Clarke's Third Law - Any sufficiently advanced society is indistinguishable from magic.

Franklin's Rule - Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he will not be disappointed.

Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress - A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Mencken's Law - Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach.

Patton's Law - A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

block

tired and lots of things on mind..

like trying to do things..but not sure what and how..hmm..trying..

sometimes i really hate people. sometimes.

thank God for everything good and bad that makes me who i am. and showing me who i can be and who i should not be.

gardening

our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.
-William Shakespeare

my garden is well..how's yours?

not too bad i guess..

I AM
70%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz

boy

i feel much like a helpless little boy. i cannot get what i want. sometimes i don't even know what i want. all i know is that it's close yet far and here yet absent.

i want something more than this. i want to able to do what i want and do them well. been trying so hard but all seems too far away still. the journey have been enriching and i have become something i want yet not my top priority..

the future scares me. i don't want to lose anything but yet if i keep holding what i have, i'll never have what i want to have. growing can be painful. and i have to grow to reach the future i want.

i need support from those around me and need those around me to understand it's not easy for me. everyone is different and this thing is not easy for me.

i want to be able to find what's best for the situation and i think i may have think too much. oh well. figure it out.

a little bit
under pressure
it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming let me out!
pray tomorrow takes me high high higher
pressure on people
people on streets

turned away from it all
like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work
keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
why why why?

(love, love, love, love)

insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
can't we give ourselves one more chance?
why can't we give love that one more chance?
why can't we give love give love give love?
give love give love give love give love give love give love?
cause love's such an old fashioned lie
and love dares you to care
for the people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way
of caring about ourselves
this is our last dance
this is our last dance
this is ourselves

under pressure
-Queen

Holiday

say, hey!

hear the sound of the falling rain
coming down like an armageddon flame (hey!)
the shame
the ones who died without a name

hear the dogs howling out of key
to a hymn called "faith and misery" (hey!)
and bleed, the company lost the war today

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

hear the drum pounding out of time
another protester has crossed the line (hey!)
yo find, the money's on the other side

can i get another Amen? (Amen!)
there's a flag wrapped around a score of men (hey!)
a gag, a plastic bag on a monument

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

(hey!)
(say, hey!)

"the representative from California has the floor"

sieg heil to the president gasman
bombs away is your punishment
pulverize the Eiffel towers
who criticize your government
bang bang goes the broken glass and
kill all the fags that don't agree
trials by fire, setting fire
is not a way that's meant for me
just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives

this is our lives on holiday
-Greenday

quote

i like your Christ, i do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mohandas Gandhi

are we guilty?

individual

"if a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau

my guitarr lies bleeding in my arms

if i have a guitar

misery likes company, i like the way that sounds
i've been trying to find the meaning, so i can write it down
staring out the window, it's such a long way down
i'd like to jump, but i'm afraid to hit the ground

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, i got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, since you went away
i sing this song to you wherever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

i'm tired of watching TV, it makes me ant to scream
outside the world is burning, man it's so hard to belive
each day you know you're dying from the cradle to the grave
i get so numb sometimes, that i can't feel the pain

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, it's strange enough these days
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

staring at the paper, i don't know what to write
i'll have my last cigarette-well, turn out the lights
maybe tomorrow i'll feel a different way
but here in my delusion , i don't know what to say

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to save
and i can't fight the feelings buried in my brains
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, there's no one left to save
and i can't fight the feelings, buried in my brains
i send this song to wherever you are,
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

-Bon Jovi

海阔天空

今天我 寒夜里看雪飘过
怀着冷却了的心窝漂远方
风雨里追赶 雾里分不清影踪
天空海阔你与我 可会变 (谁没在变)

多少次 迎着冷眼与嘲笑
从没有放弃过心中的理想
一刹那恍惚 若有所失的感觉
不知不觉已变淡 心里爱 (谁明白我)

原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由
也会怕有一天会跌倒
背弃了理想谁人都可以
那会怕有一天只你共我

仍然自由自我 永远高唱我歌走遍千里
-Beyond

now

what?

i'm just shit. nothing goes right. nothing comes right.

i'm tired. i'm feeling so dead end. i have enough.

God, protect them and guard them. please.

i'm only me. i'm like this. i try to be better..but i'm still me.

who am i?

i'm a monster now. some useless shit head stupid nonsensical retarded monster.

forgive me.

missing

i could stay awake just to hear you breathing
watch you smile while you are sleeping
while you're far away dreaming
i could spend my life in this sweet surrender
i could stay lost in this moment forever
every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure

don't want to close my eyes
i don't want to fall asleep
cause i'd miss you baby
and i don't want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i'd still miss you baby
and i don't want to miss a thing

lying close to you feeling your heart beating
and i'm wondering what you're dreaming
wondering if it's me you're seeing
then i kiss your eyes
and thank God we're together
i just want to stay with you in this moment forever
forever and ever

don't want to close my eyes
i don't want to fall asleep
cause i'd miss you baby
and i don't want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i'd still miss you baby
and i don't want to miss a thing

i don't want to miss one smile
i don't want to miss one kiss
i just want to be with you
right here with you, just like this
i just want to hold you close
feel your heart so close to mine
and just stay here in this moment
for all the rest of time

don't want to close my eyes
i don't want to fall asleep
cause i'd miss you baby
and i don't want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i'd still miss you baby
and i dont want to miss a thing

don't want to close my eyes
i don't want to fall asleep
i don't want to miss a thing
-Aerosmith

easy

leaving is easy. when you are hurt.

dying is easy. when you are troubled.

quitting is easy. when you don't want to try anymore.

i'm tired. feel so drained. like everything is just useless. pointless.

passion is not there. only reasons to quit at every turn. why start in the firstplace?

if you cannot find yourself and what you want, then who are you?

i know myself better and know what i want..but still here and fucked up. yay me.

dance

i hope you never lose your sense of wonder
you get your fill to eat
but always keep that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
i hope you still feel small
when you stand by the ocean
whenever one door closes, i hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance
i hope you dance

i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
never settle for the path of least resistance
living might mean taking chances
but they're worth taking
lovin' might be a mistake
but it's worth making
don't let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out
reconsider
give the heavens above
more than just a passing glance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance
(time is a real and constant motion always)
i hope you dance
(rolling us along)
i hope you dance
(tell me who)
i hope you dance
(wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(where those years have gone)

i hope you still feel small
when you stand by the ocean
whenever one door closes, i hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
dance
i hope you dance
i hope you dance
(time is a real and constant motion always)
i hope you dance
(rolling us along)
i hope you dance
(tell me who)
(wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
i hope you dance
(where those years have gone)

(tell me who)
i hope you dance
(wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(where those years have gone)
-Lee Ann Womack

i don't give up. i want to be on my feet when chance comes. i want to dance. with someone else.
believe. don't be afraid to dance and fall.

i don't understand

why giving up is likethe first option for so many people.

it's like..there's always a better choice. just go.

i'm like just a stupid me. haha.

half a bottle of chivas is good for your depression..!

no one

i am just another no one in the world.

tired.

depressed.

suicidal.

who cares? no one. good.

why does it torments me so..? caring is such a trap. disappointment is sure to come.

no one understands. or no one cares and bother.

oh well..screw it.

recent times

back from taiwan trip. pretty fun and relaxing. just too bad about my over-sight, abit sian about it. but..too bad.

been rather busy, as usual. trying to get things done. doing things that i want, hoping to be who i want to be.

lots of complains about the world in general, but over shadowed by the good thigns i have. sOo..i'll leave them out.

things happen as they happen. we..go on.

the Lord giveth..the Lord taketh away.

treasure what we have now, before we lose it. one way or another. eternity is not for mortals. i think probably no human can truely comprehand infinity and eternity. i think.

anyway..i'm pretty happy with life in gerneral. want to be more and get more, but that'll take time and a change in lifestyle. soon enough. as many tomorrows, as the Lord gives, with you.=)

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. PSA 23:5

from casey's..again.

life in general

it doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
i want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

it doesn’t interest me how old you are.
i want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

it doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
i want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow.
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals,
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

i want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

i want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own.
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

it doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
i want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own self.

i want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
i want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday,
and if you can source your life from our Creator’s presence.

i want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, “yes!”

it doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have.
i want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

it doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
i want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.

it doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
i want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

i want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

life..is not that simple anymore. but there are time, for all of us i believe, to want to be free and true, especially to ourselves.

when we can be with ourselves, truely..then we live more fully.

these days

jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly
from a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes
his momma said he was crazy - he said momma i've got to try
don't you know that all my heroes died
and i guess i'd rather die than fade away

these days been busy with..alot of somethings. little bit here and little bit there. all my time taken up.

we have, but one lifetime here. do what we want and what we can, else all goes away darn fast.

trying for alot things that i want. doing what i can. finding what i can not enough. going to burn more i guess. try harder. try more.

pretty much satusfied with what i have now. have to build up for more, for the future. work work work. think of what else i can do to make thigns better.

for dreams of better tomorrows. =) with someone else..

that's it for now..not much of an update. but not much inspiration. whenever i think to blog it's all complains about how retarded peoplea re around. sOoo..shall not do that.

leap

"faith certainly tells us what the senses do not, but not the contrary of what they see; it is above, not against them."
-Blaise Pascal

those who experienced is, knows.

Raymond Chandler

if i wasn’t hard, i wouldn’t be alive.
if i couldn’t ever be gentle, i wouldn’t deserve to be alive.

balance.

qu ot e

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin

Krazees

"Man is certainly crazy. He could not make a mite, and he makes gods by the dozen."
-Michel de Montaigne

don't know.

why is everything so hard..?

i try..but fail. and try again. isn't there anything to be done right? done well?

is my heaven so far off?

i want simple things in life. but there's nothing simple anymore. i'm so tired. but still i want to try. i don't want to let go of thigns that i want.

why does it seems like it's ending?

i am tired. i want to breakdown and die. enough. i failed. i cannot get what i want at all. nothing.

dreams are not enough. love is not enough. passion is not enough. trying is not enough.

somehow something goes wrong all the time. i am tired. there's no help. i am tired.

i don't want to let go. but maybe it's not my choice anymore, at all.

i am tired, scared and going mad. i don't know anything. i just want to try to be my best. but there's nothing to be done. i'm done. finished.

i really don't know what's next.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

tired

of everything.

Kant

of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing can ever be made.

we are not made to be perfect, some less than others. still..we make do and go on.

bad day

sometimes the system goes on the blink
and the whole thing turns out wrong
you might not make it back and you know
that you could be well oh that strong
and i'm not wrong

when you are down, that's when you know you want to be better.
when you are feeling trapped, that's when you find out strong you can be.
when you are lost, that's when you need someone to show you the way.

well you need a blue sky holiday

do we live?

everyone dies, but not everyone really lived.
-William Wallace, Braveheart.

007 + 2000

really quite bad start to the year. rather demoralising.

but..as always. i will pick it up and go on. what else is there to be done?

be better. that's what must be done. else i'll always be in this state of inadequacy. need to get off my arse and start working on improving. so many areas in my life can be improved upon.

the blog have become quite dead, due to the fact that perhaps i am more tolerant and don't get pissed or affected by things as much or as long. so by the time i get home everything is just normal. then there's no subject matter to blog about.

life..pretty much the same.. normal. most areas lacking. improvements to be made. work to be done.

just flipped open my bible and Pslams 77 catches my eyes.

[A Psalm of Asaph.] In the day of trouble i seek the Lord
i cried unto God with my voice, [even] unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.
in the day of my trouble i sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.
i remembered God, and was troubled: i complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.
thou holdest mine eyes waking: i am so troubled that i cannot speak.
i have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.
i call to remembrance my song in the night: i commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.
will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?
is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth [his] promise fail for evermore?
hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?
and i said, this [is] my infirmity: [but i will remember] the years of the right hand of the most High.
i will remember the works of the LORD: surely i will remember thy wonders of old.
i will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.
thy way, O God, [is] in the sanctuary: who [is so] great a God as [our] God?
thou [art] the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.
thou hast with [thine] arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph.
the waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled.
the clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.
the voice of thy thunder [was] in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook.
thy way [is] in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known.
thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

learning to lean on your grace and strength, O Lord. forgive us our sins, lead us from temptations and deliver us.

re-focus and keep on going at our dreams. sometimes we need to rest for the better good in the long run.

aimless post..somewhat. oh well.
for you my dear --) <3 .

another day..

the calender will go to 2007 in a few hours. it'll be just another day for me.

days are pretty much the same no matter the date on the calender. dawn to dusk. night to day. same amount of time in each day. we put importance into dates. i guess so that we can kind of remember the important things and people once in awhile.

anyway..the past year have been rather kind, all in all. thank God.

i'm still pretty much the same. but i have more to look forward to and to work for i guess. more to learn and to share. more to strive for and to live for. onwards..!

with God's grace, may the coming year be kind.

christmas 2006

today is christmas. a special day by any accounts. today i am to be baptised.

been preparing for it months ago. going through lessons. reading and thinking about the bible. what it means to me and do i believe.

i believe. i have felt God and i have faith.

past months have been normal in most sense. been happier, due to various reasons. but at the same time, i've been more stressed due to other reasons.

alot to rant about, but there's never enough time to bother. much have happened and i have changed much i feel.

but more about me another time.

today..we celebrate the birth of a King..! a God..! the birth..of our salvation..!

me?

i kinda agree..heh.

and of the greatest

if I give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, i gain nothing.
1 Cor 13:3

egypt

Sekhmet Observant, authoritative, indulgent, moral and witty. Colors: male: green, female: turquoise Compatible Signs: Bastet, Geb Dates: July 29 - Aug 11, Oct 30 - Nov 7 Role: Goddess of war and vengeance Appearance: Lion-headed woman with the sun over her head Sacred Animal: lion What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign? Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

another liner

who you truely are..is measured by your actions and intent.

1 -ner

it's the mystery that endures. not the explanation.

sometimes

often enough, i have thought of somethings to blog about. but, somehow, when i get home and settle infront of the monitor, i don't have the urge anymore.

life have been..as it have been. ups and downs and left right center. things go along and i'm playing catch up, of sorts. trying to do what i think is right and good. dong what i can.

thank God, that i, at least, can do so. and know so.

things are fine. pretty happy with most of my life. just some parts that needs to get sorted out. to prod along and get into action and hopefully things go well and as expected..and if not..well..life goes on and will just do what i can.

lots of problems in the world to complain about. but those that i can help make better or make a change are few. but here are some which irks me much.
-air conditioners. draws energy, damage the temperarture equilibrium of our surroundings which in turn affects the climate. and make us more prone to artificial conditions and less able to withstand normal weather.
-head lights. ever been blinded by 'high' normal beam lights? the amount of cars on the roads that are doing so, seems to be increasing. momentarily blinding drivers, pedestrians and whoever in the way. it's dangerous and ridiculus. why do people do it, i really don't understand. don't these assholes know what the low and high beams are for? as a person waiting for buses everyday, i get blinded maybe 30-50 times daily. what if i go blind or my eyesight worsens because of these fuckers? damn the demon spawn who started this madness.
-general lack of civl-mindedness. people don't give seats to old people or child bearing people. people don't wait for others to alight before charging into the mrt..even though it makes their charging less cluttered. people who just spit at every corner of the street. people who just throw whatever rubbish wherever. people who drive without signalling, weren't they taught that it may cause accidents?

sad world outside. dumb like ass TV programs. nonsensical pop songs that bring retarded messages. safe avenues seems to only be books and perhaps some games.

perhaps i'm just feeling old and worn and too aged for this society.

time of my life

another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

so make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

it's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
i hope you had the time of your life.

so take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

hang it on a shelf
in good health and good time.

tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

for what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
i hope you had the time of your life.

again this time comes. thank you my love. <3

break

been pretty long since i had some coherant post.

not that it's going to start soon..some rants.

little india. place where people like to walk on the road even though the pavements are almost empty. irritating to say the least. slow down traffic and endanger themselves.

people in general. don't care about anything except themselves. sad case. people rush to board trains and don't let people come out first. people don't signal when driving, causing inconvenience to others and potentially causing accidents. after having accident, let your freaking piece of shit stay in the middle of the road and jam the entire expressway. people in general == fucturd.

some scientist. don't give a damn about what they do when making reports. false reports. climate change. warming of our planet's atmosphere. all they care about is money lining their own pockets. so what if their grand children will die a horrible fate, if earth survives that long. so what if people just wants to sell cars and oil and pollute the world to extinction. giving reports that goes in the face of all the facts and figures..how in the world?!?! and the worst thing..? people believe them regardless of the rest of the reports floating around. 90%->global warming is a fact. 10%->there is no such thing. we are just going through a normal cycle of climate change. i would gladly twist their necks off ther heads. and feed their body to fishes.

back to local zone. no longer TM. glad in a way. pissed in a way. i have not been there all the time, that's my fault. i have not been given proper authority and been over ridden more than once, what lies people tell with straight faces. good that now i no longer handle the old kids. they cause me more increase in blood pressure than all my young kids adds up.

aas are handling things they have no freaking experience about. have no idea about and have no freaking grip on. they think they know what they are doing? go ahead.

God's grace, mercy and love. i need you, my Lord. more and more each passing hour.

some quiz

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

sometimes

fixed the taggy thingy.

i'm glad i am me. mostly. =)

and God is merciful and gracious.

some thoughts going around..but i should sleep.

shatter

too late. and out of my hands.

the past haunts us. be careful what you do..it may make you regret down this road of life.

it's so tough to be good. i want to be..but it's so painful.

i leaped..God..catch me please. don't let me fall..not this time.

time of our life

another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
so make the best of this test, and don't ask why
it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
i hope you had the time of your life.

so take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
for what it's worth it was worth all the while

it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
i hope you had the time of your life.

enjoy the ride. God..help. why?why?why?

news

or something like it.

after reading and crawling the internet for years..(around 11 years now.)i think around 30-40% of the things i read are untrue/mis-represented/mis-quoted or simply fabricated.

news lines usually have their slant on things. either cause of sponsorships, editors own opinion or even playing down some facts regarding the 'news'.

no one is unbaised. no one is totally neutral. we are humans..we have our likes and dislikes. so everything that goes through somebody, will have it's 'warp'. statistics, as i learnt in school, can be played around to show what you want to show. stories, by using particular words, can have certain angle on it. footages, after editting, can totally mis-represent an event.

all these are nothing compared to backstabbing and bad-mouthing from people around you to others around you. intentionally or not, they harm people directly. i am not innocent of it..sadly. i have my opinion, and when people ask, i tell.

guess people are quick to find faults and shout out the wrongs of others. while they whisper their own sins.

don't listen, believe and be convinced so easily. think and find out on your own before coming to conclusion about anything.

half-truths are not true.

insanity seems like a good idea

i feel like a got alot to blog about. but i don't know what to say.
i feel like i really hit it this time. but i think it's just another step.
what have i done wrong? what else could i do?
is it that hard? why don't i know anymore?
can somebody tell me why..?
i have given up so much and still i am here.
what more can i do? i never seem to get what i want.
what is wrong?

we have too many foreigners. it's fucking irritating.
they are human too. but why must they be so fuckturd..!?

aircon will kill us. it's heating up the world while cooling your fucking room. STOP USING AIR CON..!! at the very least use it at the right temperature. cool your room..not make it a freaking freezer. do that then you fall sick..then you use more power and heat the world more.
FUCTURDS.

how much more can i take? of this insane world. where people are more conerned about nothing of their concern.

some logic

a. winner don't quit.
b. quitters don't win.
c. those who never quit and never win are idiots.

statement a. ok.
statement b. ok.

statement c. . .erm..well..if they quit..they won't win. if they win..why would they quit. anytime they quit..they won't have chance to win. so how are they idiots?unless that's like when they die. before that..they could be winner who have not won yet.

some logic. like fucked up logic. by SPs. and CHKs.

hmm..

My score on The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test:

**************************************

the Questioner
(Thanks for taking the test !)

"you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family,
friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved
and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me


Be direct and clear.

Listen to me carefully.

Don't judge me for my anxiety.

Work things through with me.

Reassure me that everything is OK between us.

Laugh and make jokes with me.

Gently push me toward new experiences.

Try not to overreact to my overreacting.


What I Like About Being a Six


being committed and faithful to family and friends

being responsible and hardworking

being compassionate toward others

having intellect and wit

being a nonconformist

confronting danger bravely

being direct and assertive


What's Hard About Being a Six


the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind

procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence
in myself

fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of

exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger

wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right

being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations



Sixes as Children Often



are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and
stubborn

are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger

form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent


look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority
and rebel

are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families,
and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent



Sixes as Parents


are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty

are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence

worry more than most that their children will get hurt

sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries


**************************************

Take it!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6711512663497470889

these days

i was walking around, just a face in the crowd
trying to keep myself out of the rain
saw a vagabond king wear a styrofoam crown
wondered if i might end up the same
there's a man out on the corner
singing old songs about change
everybody got their cross to bare, these days

she came looking for some shelter with a suitcase full of dreams
to a motel room on the boulevard
guess she's trying to be James Dean
she's seen all the disciples and all the "wanna be's"
no one wants to be themselves these days
still there's nothing to hold on to but these days

these days - the stars seem out of reach
these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
these days - are fast, love don't last in this graceless age
there ain't nobody left but us these days

jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly
from a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes
his momma said he was crazy - he said momma "i've got to try"
don't you know that all my heroes died
and i guess i'd rather die than fade away

these days - the stars seem out of reach
but these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
these days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age
even innocence has caught the morning train
and there ain't nobody left but us these days

i know Rome's still burning
though the times have changed
this world keep turning round and round and round and round
these days

these days - the stars seem out of reach
but these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
these days are fast, love don't lasts-in this graceless age
even innocence has caught the morning train
and there ain't nobody left but us these days

these days - the stars seem out of reach
these days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
these days - are fast, nothing lasts
there ain't no time to waste
there ain't nobody left to take the blame
there ain't nobody left but us these days

God, in your mercy defend us from all dangers and perils of these days.

Rod Steward

sometimes when we touch.

romance and all its strategy
leaves me battling with my pride
but through all the insecurity
some tenderness survives
i'm just another writer
still trapped within my truth
a hesitant prize fighter
still trapped within my youth

and sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and i have to close my eyes and hide
i want to hold you till i die
till we both break down and cry
i want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

mercy and grace. <3

a game of you

and loves dares you to change our way of
caring about ourselves.
-Queen

many times in life we are focused on what we want. what problems we are facing and what can we do. what we want to have, to eat, to do.. it's mostly about ourselves. this is not wrong. it is good in many cases.

to achieve our dreams, to be who we want to be, to do what we want to make ourselves happy. it is very important to be focused and do what we desire.

but there are also alot of instances where importance must not be self-centered, else we fail. in a team game like soccer, everyone have their roles to play. if every player wants to score and be 'great' then the team will probably suck. in a family, if every member is only focused on their own wants and could not care about what the family members need and compromise, things will get ugly very soon. in love, where if the focus is only on what a person wants or think, then things will probably breakdown soon enough.

it's difficult for us selfish beings to think for others when we have desires to be sated. when we are not satisfied and happy yet, why should we care about others? because, in the end, it will bring about what you want. we should look ahead and think about situations where putting ourselves behind others is good for us.

if everyone play their part, the whole team, family will be better off. and ourselves, being part of it, benefits.

a game of you. graphic novel by Neil Gaiman.

Jesus said unto him, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
this is the first and great commandment.
and the second [is] like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.[Mat 22:37-39]

love does change how we care about ourselves.

life and such

been bombarded on many sides of life at the moment.

feeling pressure on almost everything. i want to be better to be more. but i am only human. why don't i get the respite i need?

i am spent.

God. help.

hmm..=)

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Acts of Service:		8
Quality Time:		8
Words of Affirmation:		2
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

SECRET!!!

singapore's purpose of purchasing submarines..

to launch..
.
.
.
.
.FIREWORKS..!! FROM UNDER-WATER..!!
.
.
.
.
.
SECRET..!!

Law of God

the law of the LORD [is] perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD [is] sure, making wise the simple.

the statutes of the LORD [are] right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD [is] pure, enlightening the eyes.

the fear of the LORD [is] clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD [are] true [and] righteous altogether.

more to be desired [are they] than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

moreover by them is thy servant warned: [and] in keeping of them [there is] great reward.

who can understand [his] errors? cleanse thou me from secret [faults].

keep back thy servant also from presumptuous [sins]; let them not have dominion over me: then shall i be upright, and i shall be innocent from the great transgression.

let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

有一点动心

男：我和你　男和女　都逃不过～爱情
谁愿意　有勇气　不顾一切付出真心

女：你说的　不只你　还包括我～自己
该不该再继续　该不该有回应　让爱一步一步靠近

男：我对你有一点动心　却如此害怕看你的眼睛
有那么一点点动心　一点点迟疑　不敢相信我的情不自禁

女：我对你有一点动心　不知结果是悲伤还是喜
有那么一点点动心　一点点迟疑　害怕爱过以后还要失去

合：难以抗拒 Oh～　人最怕就是动了情
虽然　不想不看也不听　却陷入爱里

合：我和你　男和女　都逃不过爱情
也许应该放心　让爱一步步靠近
ineviatable..

refuge

psalms 18

i will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
the LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom i will trust;
my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

peace be with you. <3