being rather introverted have it's bad times and good times. add some depression into the mix, there is not much light in the world through these weary eyes.
being introverted is not like having an extrovert self that don't know how to get out and show itself. it's more like..enjoy deep and meaningful exchange that really want to get to the bottom of things and really really know someone or something. it's tiring and yet fulfilling. when being forced to deal with mundane and superficial things, it's tiring and not fulfilling at all. and thus it becomes draining.
being introverted, like many would say, also means we need our own time and space more than others. we recharge by being alone with our thoughts or a good book or nothing or a game, a movie, a song.. i can totally see myself enjoying that, alone.
it's not that we cannot socialise, it's just perhaps more tiring and strange compared to how extroverts feel when dealing with people. i force myself to deal with people on a rather uncomfortable platform all the time, and it does get easier, but no less draining. and at the end of it, i would love to have some time to myself or just a few close friends.
now all that seem rather normal. but sometimes i get depressed. not like major depression, but i do wish i could go there and actually feel what the deep end feels like. then maybe i won't want to go there anymore. and i also fear that once i get there, i cannot get out. and that's not to mention the responsibilities that i have, and are still growing. even though i am alone and living with my parents, the amount of responsibilities i take on keep growing. i..can manage, but i know not for how long more.
the nights are getting longer and my days are filled with less smiles. perhaps it's time to leave.
being introverted is not like having an extrovert self that don't know how to get out and show itself. it's more like..enjoy deep and meaningful exchange that really want to get to the bottom of things and really really know someone or something. it's tiring and yet fulfilling. when being forced to deal with mundane and superficial things, it's tiring and not fulfilling at all. and thus it becomes draining.
being introverted, like many would say, also means we need our own time and space more than others. we recharge by being alone with our thoughts or a good book or nothing or a game, a movie, a song.. i can totally see myself enjoying that, alone.
it's not that we cannot socialise, it's just perhaps more tiring and strange compared to how extroverts feel when dealing with people. i force myself to deal with people on a rather uncomfortable platform all the time, and it does get easier, but no less draining. and at the end of it, i would love to have some time to myself or just a few close friends.
now all that seem rather normal. but sometimes i get depressed. not like major depression, but i do wish i could go there and actually feel what the deep end feels like. then maybe i won't want to go there anymore. and i also fear that once i get there, i cannot get out. and that's not to mention the responsibilities that i have, and are still growing. even though i am alone and living with my parents, the amount of responsibilities i take on keep growing. i..can manage, but i know not for how long more.
the nights are getting longer and my days are filled with less smiles. perhaps it's time to leave.
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