clean in the body, clean in the mind. one is easy and the other is tricky.
been reducing food intake, clean of alcohol and eating lots more fruits and veggies. feels like..a strange thing..like..i don't like it, but i want to do it. i want to break free of my wants and my useless habits. gaming much less now. thinking and studying much more.
and yet..i am lost. i don't know myself. i don't know what i want. i am trying to get better at my studies and my job, and they seems so hard now that i have more time for them. it's the same, but my increase in effort, yields no improvements. it's been months. i am disappointed in myself. i don't know what else i should be doing.
and now..many things that i have been doing is crumbling around me. i think i know who is trying to take me down. i know i can survive and do something else..something better even. i just cannot seem to find out what is it that i want to do. what is it that i need. is my life just like that? survive and breath moment to moment.
what am i to do?
been reducing food intake, clean of alcohol and eating lots more fruits and veggies. feels like..a strange thing..like..i don't like it, but i want to do it. i want to break free of my wants and my useless habits. gaming much less now. thinking and studying much more.
and yet..i am lost. i don't know myself. i don't know what i want. i am trying to get better at my studies and my job, and they seems so hard now that i have more time for them. it's the same, but my increase in effort, yields no improvements. it's been months. i am disappointed in myself. i don't know what else i should be doing.
and now..many things that i have been doing is crumbling around me. i think i know who is trying to take me down. i know i can survive and do something else..something better even. i just cannot seem to find out what is it that i want to do. what is it that i need. is my life just like that? survive and breath moment to moment.
what am i to do?
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