_dea

huh? read and think. then you'll know. i hope. for your sake. no, not the japanese rice wine.

hope that life could be good and happy and cherry and all that. guess it's not as simple as that. andi don't know why.

i have swallowed anger on a bus full of india indians who stick their butt at you when there are plenty of aspace around. maybe they are used to crowd and cannot stand not being in touch with anyone. i bear it. with clenched jaw and fist. any closer and i don't know what i'll do.

i have been patient and kept silent regarding the nonsense people who use the range on sunday. all talk and no action. yes range unkempt and messy. who uses it? there's lots of rubbish. whoes could it be? i wonder. though only for a nanosecond. cause the answer is simple. and obvious. and in the end it's left to someone who seldom use the range anymore to clean it up. how shameful. i admit i was slow. i got the plan up only after it was cleaned. hope it stays clean.

i am more tolerant. more peaceful. more calm. and much less lazy now.

but still unhappy at times. is it simply to vary the days? to make us appreciate the good ones? or is it something lacking still. i guess everyone have bad days and down days. though the change from agood day to a bad day happens real fast. moment. one single moment. no different formt he last or the next. yet such an impact on one's perspective on everything.

ranting. rambling. not happy. slightly angry. slightly sad. slightly is relative.

perhaps i ask too much. perhaps my standards for certain thigns are too high. perhaps.

i have no clue as to why such things happen. couldn't things work smoothly for once.

hurt and pain. my close companion for so long. thought they have left..for good. now back again at such unexpected times. and i know not the reason.

i should have changed that stupid lock
i should have made you leave your key

somethings feel so weird. yet so comforting. it changes me. it made me want to be better and do more to ensure thigns are fine.

and love dares you to care for
the people on the edge of the night
and loves dares you to change our way of
caring about ourselves

changed. for the better i hope. i hope you too. <3

no idea why. hope to be in the know though. hmm.

and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.