home alone

even as the seasons pass by
and the years gone
there are no roots

even as the shelter nourishes
and the body rests
this isn't comfort

time and time again
failure knocks on the door
from within

yet again once more
the exit tempts me
to leave this house which is not home.

so disappointing. everytime i climb up and be better, i get dragged down and trapped. angry at the circumstances, angry at the losses, angry at the ineptness and the stupidity that permeates through these walls.

disappointing that even as i was a confidant and a peer, i am nothing now. maybe i was nothing all along.

fuck this shit.