Tuesday, March 26, 2013

slightly sorted

had a good meeting with my managers to discuss my problems and what i should try to work on and how to be better. they are both very encouraging and understanding, i feel i am letting them down. because i know i am letting myself down.

i can do better. i can do more. i can put in more effort. and all these i have done. and yet i find myself, able to do more. that is what i must do. even though i have nothing to show for it. it's like archery, i can only try to improve myself, my skills, my mental game and my efforts. the results, may or may not show, but if i never hit the road, i am not going anywhere.

there are certainly times when i hate myself. what i have done and not done. what i did to others and now try to be better. it all seems so fake, so forced and so futile.

time is running out..

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