Thursday, January 19, 2006

trip again

this time i hope it's less stressful.

expectations unmet. disappointed and moody. things are not going as well as i hoped. but that's life. everything have a reason..though it is probably not apparent to us while we are in the situation.

feeling useless these days. my own life messed up. others don't need me..they can get along fine without this coach ken. i used to feel..good and powerful and worthy of my life..now..i just feel that i am wasting my life. i need to do something to pay for my time here.. to show that my life is not wasted. that i deserve my blessings.

somewhat..not right. but that's the way i feel now. baka.

anyway..trip to bangkok for a shoot. this time i am shooting. though i am severly unprepared..just shoot la. what to do..?! oh well.. with friends and good friends..hope this will be a fun trip..though i am not really in the mood for fun.

days go by i'm hypnotized
i'm walking on a wire
i close my eyes and fly out of my mind
into the fire
light the sky and hold on tight
the world is burning down
-Shawn Colvin

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