take 2

once again..i feel like shit.

the reasons are plenty. and varied. the past, present and future are all concerns..dragging me down.

if i cannot settle the past..it'll keep on affecting my present and future. and so i cannot do much about the present and the future will be worse.

there's so much to redeem for.

just a simple turn of events. a paradigm shift and my life is all up-side-down. and i don't know why. what? why?

so much i wanted to put here. but forgotten the words. forgotten the feelings. it's all just a numb grey. directionless. meaningless. pointless.

help people all i can. what do i get in return? nothing. i am just a foolish boy.

'sitting here wasted and wounded
at this old piano
trying hard to capture
the moment this morning i don’t know
’cause a bottle of vodka
is still lodged in my head
and some blond gave me nightmares
i think she’s still in my bed
as i dream about movies
they won’t make of me when i’m dead

with an ironclad fist i wake up and
french kiss the morning
while some marching band keeps
its own beat in my head
while we’re talking
about all of the things that i long to believe
about love and the truth and
what you mean to me
and the truth is baby you’re all that i need

i want to lay you on a bed of roses
for tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
i want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
and lay you down on bed of roses

well i’m so far away
that each step that i take is on my way home
a king’s ransom in dimes i’d given each night
just to see through this payphone
still i run out of time
or it’s hard to get through
till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
i’ll just close my eyes and whisper,
baby blind love is true'-Bon Jovi