stranger

a person who is strange == stranger.

some guy wrote that on a note on a CD, which was a gift, for my ex.

strange period now, for me. i don't know why some things are happening. i am totally clueless. what changed? please let me know..

right now..there's a big gapping hole in my life. it's like the center of things..the thing that holds part of my life in place. it's no longer there. i get along..no problems..just slightly disconnected. it's just a feeling of..weirdness..as if nothing is as it should be. something's not right. everything's not worthy of attention. but i know i have to continue working and doing what i do. even if not for myself..i will not let others down.

sOo many things to do. no idea how to do some of them. doing what i can and still trying to be sane. too confusing..too many people who don't work together.

for dreams of better tomorrow..

she
may be the face i can't forget
the trace of pleasure or regret
may be my treasure or the price i have to pay
she
may be the song that summer sings
may be the chill that autumn brings
may be a hundred different things
within the measure of a day

she
may be the beauty or the beast
may be the famine or the feast
may turn each day into a heaven or a hell
she may be the mirror of my dreams
the smile reflected in a stream
she may not be what she may seem
inside her shell

she
who always seems so happy in a crowd
whose eyes can be so private and so proud
no one's allowed to see them when they cry
she
may be the love that cannot hope to last
may come to me from shadows of the past
that i'll remember till the day i die

she
may be the reason i survive
the why and wherefore i'm alive
the one i'll care for through the rough in ready years
me
i'll take her laughter and her tears
and make them all my souvenirs
for where she goes i've got to be
the meaning of my life is
she
she, oh she..
-Elvis Costello, She