clown stories are often sad ones..
sometimes..the jokers are the joke itself. those laughing are crying inside. those who help others need help the most. the strongest are the ones who are almost gone. sometimes..
learn all you can..then forget it. just use it. but don't think about it.
i really don't know what to blog here..damn alot of emotions now. about everything. confused. seriously i am confused. what the heck am i to do? who am i? ken? damn it. i don't know.
i seriously wish i am dead. feel as if i done all i can. no more to give. burn for others. made them believe their dreams. gave them the will to fight. taught them all i could. damn..let me rest..
what more am i suppose to do? i don't want to hurt anymore..hurt others as well as myself..
i will take care and cheirsh and make well all i can..then let it go. cause i am afraid. afraid to hurt. afraid that i will cause hurt.
feel that this world have no more place for me. and i also wish not a place. do i? i dont know. sorry.
this is why i hate..FUCKING HATE my birthday. makes me think about my life. myself. my worth. who am i? what am i? can i be better? had fun. thanks to all my friends. but at the end of it..i really don't know.
crawl to a dark corner and cry little boy..you are alone..you are powerless..for all you know and all you can do..you are nothing..
i don't believe in god. as in the ultimate being, no. in higher beings, different beings, yes.
why the hell did i type that..?
cause i wish someone, something can help me. can know me where i don't know myself at all. can let me cry and breakdown in a gentle embrace. to hold me when i fall..i feel like i am falling. bottom is coming right up.
year end. birthday. holiday season. new year. meaningless.
hate me. please. hate me enough to kill me.
dark patch of life again. nothing unusual i suppose..damn..tough times..difficult stuff..no way out..endure and persist..
i'll be ok..don't worry..i'll always be ok..cause i don't die.
why-ken
why is there a ken like this?
'misery likes company, i like the way that sounds..
i've been trying to find the meaning, so i can write it down..
staring out the window, it's such a long way down..
i'd like to jump, but i'm afraid to hit the ground..'-Bon Jovi
2 comments:
There is always some ups and downs in life...
clown stories can be sad but it still bring laughter to others, when others are happy the clown will forget bout the hardship of what he must go through. I am not sure why or what causes you to write these...It does surprise me how much time and events can milled someone down to this state...everyone has his/her problems some big some small, ppl come ppl go, some event have to happen before we can proceed with our life and have to happen the way it is... Maybe someone have to leave to make you treasure the next one coming into your life? you are who you are, you make what you will become. You should have watched Matrix dun you, if you limit yourself then that is a limit you set... And most importantly you are not alone...there will be someone there, may it be a fren or a stranger they will try to help. Give yourself some time, you traveled too fast too far...star that burns twice as bright burns twice as fast...spend a little time to regenerate and regather your sources, recap and learn from mistakes(dun let ego stand in your way, nobody will mock you for that)...all is not lost.
if you are wondering, i have chance upon your blog.
and i dun think this is coincindance as well...Some times i hope that i can be as social as you, but right now i have to be myself.
An old fren of yours.
The best has yet to come, are you ready for it?
i hear you, brother. i know and i will be ok. just some down time. thank you.
you are great as you are. serious. sometimes i wish i am more like you.
power is nothing without control. i remember what you taught me.
Post a Comment