great expectations

let desire be your destiny.

what do you desire? do you know what you want in life?

days like yesterday and today are far and few in my life. after work just do what i felt like doing. went to shoot some yesterday. just wanted to, no stress. then happened to fix some major part of my shooting problem. pretty happy. then met an old friend to have dnner. had a great time eating and chatting. walking around past midnight around marina area. esplanade, marina square, oreintal hotel, pan pacific hotel then suntec. talked about lotsa stuff..walk around..chilling out. so comfortable with her. understanding and thoughtful and her insightfulness is amazing sometimes, but her blurness sometimes is also darn amazing. haha.. just do what we wanted to. such a great friend is certainly hard to find.

today just went for lunch with a good friend and chill out awhile..went home change to go cc. did nothing much..just joked and relaxed. shoot other people's bow and had fun trying to be samuria-y. haha..

hai..though pretty happy, still feel as if something is missing from my life.. a missing piece making me incomplete. no idea what i need. i know my desire, my dreams. working towards it, but..just not happy. not even really contented. no idea what to do. just do what i do and try to be who i want to be..that's all i can do i suppose.

things are more sedated now..more settled down..kind of..hope things start to go better..then i can start learning new things and start saving again and all that..

alot of things in my mind still..but learning how to tune them out. since i cannot really do anything about them. wish. hope. dream.

still tired..still trudging on. still..same..when i think about stuff..i become..broKEN again. don't know what to do about it. don't know why i am like this. don't even know why anymore..

why-ken
don't know why..

'every whisper..of every waking hour..
i'm choosing my confessions..
trying to keep an eye on you..
like a hurt lost and blinded fool..'-REM