reminisce

takes time to get it over with properly i suppose.

before that happens..i shall have to live with flash backs of moments so dear to me, it hurts. but to say it hurts lots is a lie. it hurts, but somewhat feels like i am used to the kind of hurt. the slight aching and yearning for memories, bitter sweet. the want to hold on to something which have become a shadow of lost hope.

one must look forward to move forward without mishap. i feel as if i stood still. unable to cleanly let it go. yet. surreal. the memories are a reminder of how difficult things can be. how close and how far it can be at the same time.

sometimes i wish to walk away. from everything in my life. and start anew somewhere. doing something i never done in my life. i know i can do reasonably well..i am pretty adapt at most things. reasons are varied. to get away from the drudery of life here. to remove myself from pains and hurt which are not my doing. to remove from hurt and pain which are. but that's just an empty dream, which will never come true as long as i have things i hold dear at present here. my family, my friends.

dull mood. cool day. the brain is not in at the moment. if you would please leave a message. thank you.