muddled

actually alot of things on my mind..but..

perhaps too tired to put them into words here. perhaps too much of everything. perhaps too little of things i want. perhaps..it doesn't matter. life still goes on. i still need to do what i do.

if i wasn't around..perhaps thigns would be better..or worse..or simple same. who knows.

no longer in pain or anything. just a dull aching that let's me know that, 'hey, you need a break from things and chill out sometime.' yeah i know..but..some things cannot wait. somethings must wait.

want's and needs. do we really know the difference? is there really?

as i feel closer to God, i feel more at peace. feels that i can be better and do more. and i push myself to do more. so that others can be better off too. and for that..i really thank God. it's something i cannot explain..it just feels that way. as i trust more and have more faith..i go further and do more. though sometimes my faith falters some and i get really down..i know all i need to do is get up and go. He will guide me.=)

but as life goes on..we get blinded by our wants our greed for more. we must be wary of such pitfalls and do what is right and good.

it's all heart

'i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remains
more and more i need you now,
i owe you more each passing hour
battle between grace and pride
give up not so long ago
so steal my heart and take the pain,
wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
this sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that i despise
speak the words i can't deny
watch the world i used to love
fall to dust get blown away
i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
and i pray, and i pray, and i pray
take my world apart '-Jars of Clay