thank you, my brother.
what you told me some time ago is now what drives me on. we all need seomthing to believe in to keep us going in tough times. and now i guess i found mine. i believe in creating the future.
the past is gone. i have made many terrible mistakes. i will never forget nor forgive myself. i am sorry for everything. i truely am. but i got to move on. i got to be who i want to be.
after being afraid and depressed for quite sometimes already, now i suddenly feel as if i s@@ clearer.
today went to the range after work and started to get ready to shoot. before that i was quite apprehensive about shooting, having done not as well as i should for the previous shoot and having plentiful of worries on my mind. but once i started plucking the string of my bow, i felt as if a great deal of strss left me.
the weather was fine. not too hot or cold or windy. the range was not crowded neither was it empty. my mind cleared. i focused on what i wanted to do. what i wanted to improve. and worked on it. shooting wasn't great. not much improvement in scores or grouping, but i felt good shooting. felt good doing my best and focusing.
in that few hours i felt in the zone. being in the now. the days without caffine and having enough rest? or was it no music to alter my mood? whatever it was..i stood there and shot. i was intent on every shot. could feel every shot. what went wrong and what to do to fix was clear in my mind.
that is a feeling, no, a mindset i must try to reproduce. to be doing my best, to be focused. to show that the best in me is yet to come. through all the losses. all that i done wrong. all that i never did or did well enough. i want to be better. and so i will. to be better.
all these from a few words of encouragement from my brother. whom i know silently from far away, cares for me. and my sister as well. i love you two. we may be far apart, but we are always together.
finally understanding what they s@@ in me. finally understanding thoroughly what i want from myself. this is the me i want to be. the best is yet to come.
finally-ken
the me i want.
'deep within each heart..
there lies a magic spark..
that lights the fire of our imagination..
and since the dawn of man..
the strenght of just "i can"..
has brought together people of all nations.
there's nothing ordinary..
in the living of each day..
there's a special part..
every one of us will play..
feel the flame forever burn
teaching lessons we must learn
to bring us closer to the power of the dream
as the world gives us its best..
to stand apart from all the rest..
it is the power of the dream that brings us here..
your mind will take you far..
the rest is just pure heart..
you'll find your fate is all your own creation..
every boy and girl..
as they come into this world..
they bring the gift of hope and inspiration..
feel the flame forever burn..
teaching lessons we must learn..
to bring us closer to the power of the dream..
the world unites in hope and peace..
we pray that it will always be..
it is the power of the dream that brings us here..
there's so much strength in all of us..
every woman child and man..
it's the moment that you think you can't..
you'll discover that you can..
feel the flame forever burn..
teaching lessons we must learn..
to bring us closer to the power of the dream..
the world unites in hope and peace..
we pray that it will always be..
it is the power of the dream that brings us here..
feel the flame forever burn..
teaching lessons we must learn..
to bring us closer to the power of the dream..
the world unites in hope and peace..
we pray that it will always be..
it is the power of the dream that brings us here..
the power of the dream..
the faith in things unseen..
the courage to embrace your fear..
no matter where you are..
to reach for your own star..
to realize the power of the dream..'-Celine Dion, 1996 Atlanta Olympics.
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