the day the sky exploded

kaboom.

this is the second time i am typing this entry. some shit happened to blogspot and lost the first entry. fuck the world. i was just down and sad with a tiny bit of anger. not it's TRUCKLOAD of anger and tiny bit of sadness. fuckturd!!

it's a day which was great. a day that's always nice and enjoyable. a day which i always look forward to. this year. fuck it. screw it. go to hell! forget it.

i'll chew your head off. don't come near me. it was my fault. i tried, but i didn't know. wasn't caring enough. but all is over now. forget it. no more. i had enough.

wanted to pass this day normally. now all screwed. will not cry. will not scream or otherwise cause harm to anything or anyone. i am ken. ken the archer. no idea what that means to me? look in my previous post, fucking asshole.

scream coming from unknown depts in me and ending in a soundless cry. no rage. no anger. punching keyboard, not hard enough to spoil it. just hard enough to make it sound scary. thank you.

sorry for the anger up there. i'll leave it as it reflects truely about me. i'll be better. sorry.

all mixed up with emotions from shadows of a past long gone. with some mix of a dream of better tomorrows. in the confusion, that's now. i'll be better. i hope all is well with all those i know. i am sorry i cannot be better.

looking forward with hope, yet carrying the past on my back. i'll leave it here. i'll be who i am. who i want to be. so many things to say, yet no words come to mind. all i can say now is. i love you.

i will be better. thank you. sorry. take care. be well.

.-ken
today, it ends.

'don't speak..i know what you're thinking. i don't need your reasons..don't tell me cause it hurts.'-No Doubt