the day the sky exploded

kaboom.

breaking up. or is it breaking down. wanted to get past this day normally. now it starts, abnormally. swell of emotions. mixed up emotions. anger. sadness. yearning. hopelessness. pissedness. torn. empty. broken. a great scream seem to come from deep within and ending in a soundless cry.

i really have no idea how to express this now. the past is gone. let it go. you did enjoy yourself and you hated it as well. it was good but not as good as it should have been. should be six years now. but all there is now is nothing. not even a kind word when we parted. perhaps there was. i don't remember. i know i lost days when it happened. don't know what i was doing. don't know what happened. just slowly reawaken to a dull life devoided of color. devoided of purpose.

it's just a date. meaningless. like birthdays. a date to signify a day long past. yet it holds me captive. it was a day to celebrate. to have fun and enjoy ourselves. to love each other more and to affirm our commitment to better future. all is naught.

will not cry. will not break down. will be strong and go on. i have alot to do today. alot to acheive.

will not go on about this. it's pointless. i hate it. shadows of a dream long gone. all left are ashes. cold. dark. empty.

ken is an archer. you left.

.-ken
today, it ends.

'don't speak, i know what you're thinking..i don't need your reasons, don't tell me cause it hurts..'-No Doubt