alone in the dark

cold, dark and empty?

life takes a twist again and again. interesting. darkness is relative. and so is the feeling of loneliness. but here i am feeling alone. and feels darkness around. know that i am alright in most aspects, but yet there are parts of my life that is so very empty.

Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.
Nor hath love's mind of any judgment taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:
And therefore is love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is so oft beguil'd (I, i)

The course of true love never did run smooth.

from a midsummer night's dream. my fave of shakespeare. like it cause the characters are more embodiments of some ideas rather than persons. feels it to be more raw, more pure. interesting way to show something so raw as love.

like through a glass window which have no more handle. i can watch but am powerless to act. though i wish, i know this is probably better. have to go with the flow and let things run it's course. all i can do is my best. trying to do more now would only make things worse. have to do what is right and let things go as they go.

knowledge of something about myself made a paradigm shift in me. just an idea. realisation that things are far more complicated than it seems. no matter what way i take it, it still seems to be abit more than i can take. for now. i have been guessing at it for sometime now, just no idea what it entails. now perhaps i know more and can speak to someone about it. interesting.

burning my life away for others. shall have to watch out that i don't get into trouble for that, cause it would mean i cannot help others anymore. always been glad to help people. but lately been rather out of my capabilites. got to realise that i am human.

nothing's been much interest to me lately. i know what i have to do, as well as what i want to do. and i guess i feel unmotivated to do them. still convincing myself to do things for myself more. to take my own advise and listen to hear what i say to others.

got to get going, i say. but do i listen to what i say?

listen-ken
listen to my heart. it tells me to soar..

'what i've felt..what i've known..never shined through in what i've shown. never free..never me..so i dub thee unforgiven..'-Metallica