sleepless

in singapore.

tired. but not enough to ensure a good night sleep. i don't really know why. no new issues to bother me. issues have been settled in my mind. things i can do..i do..things i cannot..leave it. what else can i do? i am only human.

and yet..i still cannot sleep.

music. so beautiful..and sad.

no more anger. twice a year maybe..i vent. this year..on an unsuspecting person who called me.
(at TP range during training.)
person:eh..come down now.
ken: huh?
person: come down!
ken: huh? why? what?
person: your CPU..come down.
ken: HUH!?!? who are you?!?
person: WHO ARE YOU?
(ken's evil twin appears and takes over the phone.)
evil twin: TMD. you call me ask me who i am? you go die la. f**king asshole!!
(offs phone. pass back to ken then promptly disappears.)
off course i did not put it so nicely..english is not a suitable language to scold people. especially when on paper/online. seems so emotionless. hokkien is satisfying when angered. cantonese is nice when you want to gossip. chinese is good when you want to insult people's 18 generation. english is good when you want to be sacastic..i suppose. maybe it'sjust the way i use them.

missing you..so much.

getting busy. inter-school and indoor coming. preparing people for it. and myself as well. so many things to do..so little time. giving my best for the people who rely on me..who depend on my judgement..who trust me. i am giving you my best..trust me. =>

occupied in the day. home alone at night..feels sOo..empty. depressingly empty. bah!!no new books to chew through. not playing games..don't want to waste time. but cannot sleep also waste time.

don't even know who i want to be anymore.

'忘记你 但仍然想起
愈想起 更加难入寐
紧抱你 抱紧的只得空气
明知得不到你 何必再要记起'-张学友