miserable

as miserable as i expect it to be.

only solace was when i was in church when i was focused on God's word. and when i was reading, in church grounds.

after talking to a church staff, i volunteered to be an usher for a day per month for the 5pm service. i guess, i really should start serving.

a pastorial staff came up and talked to me today. just before service. did i look that bothered? or was God providing for my needs? i believe the latter. after service i had a little talk with the staff. there's not much i can do. only pray. Thank you God. Thank you David.

i keep saying it. i mean it alot. i always meant it. i love you, dear. i love you and you are dear to me. i am sorry.