don't lose your head.
nice show it was..nice concept and all, i thought. cool effects too. keep your head even when everything is at stake. that i must do.
today shooting was bad..consistantly bad..no idea what went wrong. started great during sighter. then all downhill from there. left right up down. all over. no idea what's wrong. relax. tried. really did i all could. fixed some problems. no longer hitting arm. fixed head position. fixed anchoring. still all over. really wanted to give it up. why am i training thirty hours a week?!? why can't i get it? i've done all i was told. train strength, endurance, run, shoot, form work, mental work..what else!?!?comon! tell me?!?!
scores been going down hill..it's really tough to keep up. i am doing it. i am trying my best. i know i can. i will!! but why it isn't showing? what more must i do? damn fucking noobturd!!
wanted to cry..to lay down and cry. tell the world i had enough. i am a loser..
but no. i'll keep at it. i'll get there. AERRGH.!!!!! I'LL FUCKING GET THERE!!! whatever i must do. stand in my way? i'll rip your throat out. no matter how tough it gets, i'll be stronger! damn it!
i am given a chance at this. one life. i'll live my dream. it hurts, but i'll pull through. damn it..
damn it..
i am crying..weeping. i would scream if not for people around. i would tear at things if i did not learnt it the hard way.
i'll burn for my dream. i'll fight for it and die for it. a setback is just another way of learning.but damn it hurts. so damn much. when you done all you know to do and tried all you can and it's still not good enough. not the first time, and it won't be the last. everytime i get back up, i'll be stronger. i will!
i'll always remember, 'you lose only when you give up.' i hear you, now see me fight for it! i won't give up! i'll make my dream come true! damn it's tough..but damn me if i give up!!
it's not a dream. it's a goal. cause it will be fulfilled.
edgey-ken
so close to the edge. he was almost gone.
'when the storm rises up, when the shadows descend..
every beat of my heart, every day without end..
i will stand like a rock, i will bend till i break..
till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes.
i will risk everything, i will fight, i will bleed..
i will lay down my life, if that's what you need..
every second i live, that's the promise i make..
baby, that's what i'll give, if that's what it takes.'-Celine Dion
1 comment:
You started national training only a month or slightly more only, give yourself more time, dun put too much pressure on yourself. In everything you do there'll be bad days and good days. This is just one of 'em bad days, good days will come after. You are getting closer to your acomplishing your goal, this is just one hurdle you must get past to reach it. Your friends are behind you all the way. Ken do. Ken CAN do.
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