peter pan once, i was.
in primary three, before i changed primary school. was in make-up, stocking and a skirt my mom made. OMG! i'm telling people this. ermm..oh well..anyway was on stage and was shown on the news as well. won first prize for something. i still have the prize. a book, it was. nice little book about some children scared of things under their bed. good times those were, like neverland. no worries. no cares. stupid also i suppose. simple, fun and forever young.
today, returned to shooting after a four day break. rather long, considering it's in competition season. anyway, i re-realise what i want to be. an archer. it means alot to me, to be an archer. fitted my bow and loved the sound it makes. love the way to looks and love the way it feels in my hand. it's like rediscovering my passion for archery.
almost like three parts to my shooting today. first part just shoot for loving the shoot. arrow after arrow. just enjoying sending arrows out of the bow and listening to the sound and the feel of my bow shooting. then, got distracted by something. try to shoot after that, but focus not the same. feels..off. not in tune with the flow of the shot. after dinner came back and cleared my mind and shot. felt good. felt like old times with the exception of my shooting problem. which i am fixing as best as i could.
to be an archer, is to be more than what i am now. to do what i can to be all i can.
problems still abound. worries and all still somewhere in my head. troubles which i cannot solve, only watch. things which i have no control. life is such, isn't it. the train goes on and on. doesn't stop for anything or anyone. we have to keep it together or be left behind and needing to catch up later.
K:hang on.
B:for?
K:for dreams of better tomorrows.
a tear came unbidding to my eye as i typed the above. do i know why? no, i do not. almost a feeling of sadness. kind of yearning for something more, but no idea what. today we fight, we struggle, we bleed and hurt, for what? for dreams of better tomorrows? answers i do not have.
we all have our own demons to face. and face them we must, lest they creep upon us and bring us down somewhere we least expects. i love all those around me. my family, my friends, my brothers and sisters. how i wish i could make things better for everyone. i know now, it is not my place and not within my powers. even if it is, i shouldn't. for through hurt and pain do we grow. though it hurts to s@@ someone you love hurt, we must not shelter them. for cripple them we will.
random thoughts all around me. sending out words as they past my conscious thoughts. feelings still confused and mixed. good thing is, i am now more in control of myself, having reawaken my dream, my passion and my drive. to get things done. to fall but not stay down. to lose but never give up.
i am Ken, an ARCHER. a mortal, no more. but also no less.
never never-ken
never grow up, never give up.
'if you jump, i'll break your fall..lift you up and fly away into the night..if you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone..'-Savage Garden
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