abyss

look into the abyss..and the abyss looks back at you.

feels like i am in an abyss now. no light. no hope no one. nothing at all. no idea where am i or what am i to do. cannot see myself. cannot see any other thing. just don't want to do anything or even see anyone. simply feels like i need to fulfill my duty as a friend, archer, coach..blah, blah..

life sucks. don't know why it took such a turn again. want to feel happy, really want to again. but there's no more reason to. no longer a dream to live. no longer a will to carry on. i'll just take it easy and see what turns up. i'll just hope for a better tomorrow. though such hope in me is minute. like a part in godzillion of other negative emotions.

want to go crazy and forget everything. all i have done wrong. all that i should not. never done anything good for myself except eat nice food. lost the reasons for my being. no more quest to fulfill. no more people to save. except myself. and i don't know how. if there's an angel looking at me. i need you now. i am losing myself. i want to tear at myself and rip out the things that hurts. i don't want to hurt anymore. i cannot stay strong anymore. i don't want to act anymore.

i am sad. i am down. i am lost. i am confused. i am in pain. i am lost. i am lost.

-ken
i am no more.

'maybe tomorrow i'll feel a different way..but here is my delusion, I don't know what to say'-Bon Jovi