life and such

been normal i guess. some minor problems..as usual.

feeling abit low today. had a great service, and great time before i reach the range. time at the range and after service was..bleah.

abit out of sorts..i know the problems are there. but it's not something that i can solve. changing people's mentality and mindset and how they view me. i am me. if they want to play cliques and isolate me. why should i care? cause it's my job? seriously..in my opinion. most of these people should be out of the picture. out of my picture. i do my job. if you want to bypass me and look for whoever..is it my problem? i am here to help you, but i cannot help you, if i don't know the problem. heck, i don't even know what's happening..cause you don't let me know. i am not there on weekends cause i have other commitments. just as you people are not there on weekdays cause you have other commitments. do i have to conform? no, fuck you.

i am me. i do what i do. i do what i can. if you don't trust me enough to let me do my job then your failure to trust and respect, caused me to fail and eventually the whole system. my job is to be a middle man. to work out between two parties. one side use me. one side don't. what am i to do? am i to blame? cause i am not there? cause i am not made know the issues? i say, 'please bang a wall to yourself.'

you got your job, that's to do your best. i got a job, and i do what i can. i got other jobs like you. you expect more from me? more than you are giving? if hell have not a place for you, i'll make one.

more pissed than i thought i was. cause i guess i am doing my best on top of my other things that require my attention. some of you think that i am only doing this, perhaps? you are wrong. i am doing this cause i thought i can help. i am not in for the money. what money? i can earn more working part-time, please.

bah. irate.

thank God for the blessings in my life, for without, i would be crushed.

i could stay awake just to hear you breathing
watch you smile while you are sleeping
while you’re far away dreaming
i could spend my life in this sweet surrender
i could stay lost in this moment forever
every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure

don’t want to close my eyes
i don’t want to fall asleep
cause i’d miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i’d still miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing

lying close to you feeling your heart beating
and i’m wondering what you’re dreaming
wondering if it’s me you’re seeing
then i kiss your eyes
and thank God we’re together
i just want to stay with you in this moment forever
forever and ever

don’t want to close my eyes
i don’t want to fall asleep
cause i’d miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i’d still miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing

i don’t want to miss one smile
i don’t want to miss one kiss
i just want to be with you
right here with you, just like this
i just want to hold you close
feel your heart so close to mine
and just stay here in this moment
for all the rest of time

don’t want to close my eyes
i don’t want to fall asleep
cause i’d miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i’d still miss you baby
and i don’t want to miss a thing

don’t want to close my eyes
i don’t want to fall asleep
i don’t want to miss a thing
-Aerosmith