blast from the past

missing someone badly. her smile, her laugh, her jokes and clever remarks. seems like not so long ago. seems like yesterday.

but all have changed. i don't even have the courage. i don't even know what i want. lonely. survivable. gapping hole. waiting to be filled once again.

so many things have changed. yet i remain.

pained-ken
blasted by memories.

'my shadow's the only one that walks beside me..
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating..
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me..
till then i walk alone..

i'm walking down the line..
that divides me somewhere in my mind..
on the border line..
of the edge and where i walk alone..

read between the lines..
what's fucked up and everything's alright..
check my vital signs..
to know i'm still alive and i walk alone..'-Greenday