whoami?

i am not who i want to be.
i am tired.

another.

don't really know what to think about things.

life is pretty good. looking up and getting somewhere it seems. not really bothered by anything, just normal.

nothing really changed. just another day passed, spent with good company. good food, friends and music. relaxing day and did what i enjoyed. what more could i ask for? =)
thank you, my dear. <3.
i know what matters to me. perhaps too early. it makes me lack the drive to live in this mordern society. oh well, we'll see how things goes. life still goe on and it's not like i'm unable or blind or that stupid. heh..hope not.

many issues surrounding our lives everyday. some big and personal. others distant and yet disturbs us. we all can be better persons. let's hope that everyone realises this and make the effort to be better to those they love, at least.

God's Grace. life is indeed better now.

i don't know

why.

i feel down.
like things are not going well, but they are fine.
like things are stretched and difficult..but are they?

i don't know. i feel depressed. but nothing is wrong. just..depressed.

hai..hmm..BZZT!

BZZT! indeed!! Mr. Battery..!

struggle

living can be a struggle. everyday is a fight.

fight for something you want. or need. survival comes with struggles. somedays it just breezes past..other days..it feels like not worth it.

others may need you. look up to you. then disappoint you. you may have done the same to others..unknowingly.

so human.

we are imperfect. unable to be. and that makes it interesting as well as difficult. why is a big quetion with no answer here. so..should we even ask? or should we just trudge on without caring for the big questions?

we all need help and love and tender care somedays. we don't always get it. others too. but sometimes i guess we cannot even care about ourselves enough..why should we care about others..

moving at the speed of life, we are bound to collide with each other.

we hurt each other so much without meaning to. we hurt oureslves too..

God have mercy on us..our sanity..our souls.

..

i don't know what to write. i don't know what to do.

nothing to say. just sorry. and it's so inadequate.

sorry.

realisations

boys are stupid. men are jerks.

i feel so much like a boy. i don't know so much. i thought i was aware..but i was/am wrong.

thank you, God. for your grace and mercies throughout my life. i have nothing and all is yours. please guide me to be better and grant strength, discipline and endurance for your work and plans. let me be totally yours. for on my own..i am worse than nothing.

help.

.

is this the end?

i feel so broken. i feel like i've been through this and still want to try.

yes..i want to try to be what is needed. i want to be with her. but..it's not up to me.

God..what's next? why all this hurt? i know it's my mistake..i'm sorry. i know what's wrong..but sometimes i lose it. i am sorry.

screwed up.

trying to make things better but gets worse.

knees and ankle rather busted. heavy load. long walk. *ka-put*

trying to make sense of things. sense all run away.

praying for help and guidance. ain't getting nothing.

nights become scary again. one 'dreams' is all it takes.

where is the love? where is the sanctuary?

is there a ladder somewhere to let me climb abit higher than where i am now?

i don't know what to do. i know what i want. but nothing is within my ability. nothing.

broKEN

yeah..i know why. but i cannot fix it. i try..but sometimes cannot help it.

human..so..idiotic.

lawful society

Clarke's Third Law - Any sufficiently advanced society is indistinguishable from magic.

Franklin's Rule - Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he will not be disappointed.

Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress - A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Mencken's Law - Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach.

Patton's Law - A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

block

tired and lots of things on mind..

like trying to do things..but not sure what and how..hmm..trying..

sometimes i really hate people. sometimes.

thank God for everything good and bad that makes me who i am. and showing me who i can be and who i should not be.

gardening

our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.
-William Shakespeare

my garden is well..how's yours?

not too bad i guess..

I AM
70%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz

boy

i feel much like a helpless little boy. i cannot get what i want. sometimes i don't even know what i want. all i know is that it's close yet far and here yet absent.

i want something more than this. i want to able to do what i want and do them well. been trying so hard but all seems too far away still. the journey have been enriching and i have become something i want yet not my top priority..

the future scares me. i don't want to lose anything but yet if i keep holding what i have, i'll never have what i want to have. growing can be painful. and i have to grow to reach the future i want.

i need support from those around me and need those around me to understand it's not easy for me. everyone is different and this thing is not easy for me.

i want to be able to find what's best for the situation and i think i may have think too much. oh well. figure it out.

a little bit
under pressure
it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming let me out!
pray tomorrow takes me high high higher
pressure on people
people on streets

turned away from it all
like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work
keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
why why why?

(love, love, love, love)

insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
can't we give ourselves one more chance?
why can't we give love that one more chance?
why can't we give love give love give love?
give love give love give love give love give love give love?
cause love's such an old fashioned lie
and love dares you to care
for the people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way
of caring about ourselves
this is our last dance
this is our last dance
this is ourselves

under pressure
-Queen

Holiday

say, hey!

hear the sound of the falling rain
coming down like an armageddon flame (hey!)
the shame
the ones who died without a name

hear the dogs howling out of key
to a hymn called "faith and misery" (hey!)
and bleed, the company lost the war today

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

hear the drum pounding out of time
another protester has crossed the line (hey!)
yo find, the money's on the other side

can i get another Amen? (Amen!)
there's a flag wrapped around a score of men (hey!)
a gag, a plastic bag on a monument

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
on holiday

(hey!)
(say, hey!)

"the representative from California has the floor"

sieg heil to the president gasman
bombs away is your punishment
pulverize the Eiffel towers
who criticize your government
bang bang goes the broken glass and
kill all the fags that don't agree
trials by fire, setting fire
is not a way that's meant for me
just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives

this is our lives on holiday
-Greenday

quote

i like your Christ, i do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mohandas Gandhi

are we guilty?

individual

"if a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau

my guitarr lies bleeding in my arms

if i have a guitar

misery likes company, i like the way that sounds
i've been trying to find the meaning, so i can write it down
staring out the window, it's such a long way down
i'd like to jump, but i'm afraid to hit the ground

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, i got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, since you went away
i sing this song to you wherever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

i'm tired of watching TV, it makes me ant to scream
outside the world is burning, man it's so hard to belive
each day you know you're dying from the cradle to the grave
i get so numb sometimes, that i can't feel the pain

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to say
life is feeling kind of strange, it's strange enough these days
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

staring at the paper, i don't know what to write
i'll have my last cigarette-well, turn out the lights
maybe tomorrow i'll feel a different way
but here in my delusion , i don't know what to say

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope i've got nothing to save
and i can't fight the feelings buried in my brains
i send this song to you, whoever you are
as my guitar lies bleeding

i can't write a love song the way i feel today
i can't sing no song of hope, there's no one left to save
and i can't fight the feelings, buried in my brains
i send this song to wherever you are,
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms
as my guitar lies bleeding in my arms

-Bon Jovi

海阔天空

今天我 寒夜里看雪飘过
怀着冷却了的心窝漂远方
风雨里追赶 雾里分不清影踪
天空海阔你与我 可会变 (谁没在变)

多少次 迎着冷眼与嘲笑
从没有放弃过心中的理想
一刹那恍惚 若有所失的感觉
不知不觉已变淡 心里爱 (谁明白我)

原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由
也会怕有一天会跌倒
背弃了理想谁人都可以
那会怕有一天只你共我

仍然自由自我 永远高唱我歌走遍千里
-Beyond