on and on..

been busy, tired and slightly sick. though days been pretty good overall.
been coaching and doing paper work, so much that i don't have much time to train. then shot quite sianly for NUSIIAC. individual, i hoped to reach certain targets..but i failed. i tried everything..but i am just too weak. physical condition much needed. team event shot just ok, but should have been better..given what my team could do the last short distance shoot. but i guess we are all busy with other stuff now and not as prepared. oh well..life goes on..

nothing much happening in my life. been pretty alright and rather happy generally. though the past weeks have been tiring. camp took up days, trying to get well from sick took days. hai. not effective.

oh well..=)

all i can do is pray and keep faith.

there's something about you now
i can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and i don't know why
i can't keep my eyes off of you
-Lifehouse

weekend?

what weekend?

almost every weekend i am packed from morning to night. from saturday morning to sunday evening. it's totally no rest. no slack.

this weekend have been particularly trying and yet amazing in some sense. been more tired the whole of last week and saturday have a small respite since one school have cancelled training. then after that things went downhill. emotions and mood. affected by minor stuff then i let it run free and spoil the night by being spiteful and insensitive. after that i pretty much couldn't sleep and so..come sunday i was beat and had to work the whole day till around 1600. did not help my mood nor my physical condition. saving grace was that things became slightly better. then at service, which was special..!!, things started to seem to come around for the better. i couldn't stay awake for the entire service. =( so i left about half way through. though i went slightly early to sit in the knave and talked to God. after i left i went home to rest. still couldn't really rest as much was on my mind and in my heart. after calling and talking..i felt so much better though still having some reservations and fear. but before i slept i prayed and i felt and know that things will be fine.

God be my shepard, i shall not want.

rant and rant. but am very glad things are better now. hope i don't do stupid things so much.

no words seem enough. nothing seem enough. to show how much i appreciate you. but all i can do is to tell you..thank you. =)

saving grace

wishing you were
somehow here again..
wishing you were
somehow near..
sometimes it seemed
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would
be here..

thank you. my God, my Lord. thank you for showing me that faith in you can pull me through dark hours.

what a day..

blasted tiredness + insomnia.
nonsensical ranting in pre-dawn.
monotonous day at range.
falling asleep in service.
crapped up emotions.
bad news in some areas.

how bad can a day go?

i still need..

..a break.

non-stop. things go on and on. too many things to catch up on. unable to stay on top of them.

days come and days go.
don't know what the future holds.
afraid of what may come.
yet want so much more than just this.
feeling quite spent.
but still no respite from everything.

when can i just rest upon the green grass and gaze at the clouds go by? will you be there by my side?